What do you call a pair of shoes made from Bananna Skins?

Slippers

Pls stop the quoting thanks

An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked. The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window.

"Could ye spare some victuals?"

The woman glanced at his shabby, dirty clothes. "No!" she shouted.

The vagabond said, "Might I please ...?"

"What now?" the woman screeched, not allowing him to finish.

"D'ye suppose," he asked, "that I might have a word with George?"

A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.

"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"

"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.

"Can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.

"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."

"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun questioned sternly.

"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun."

"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not 'spinsters - they are married to God."

"Wonderful," said Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law."

Two rabbits are being chased by a pack of hungry wolves.
They run into a forest and hide in some bushes.
One rabbit turns to the other and says, so will we make a run for it or stay here for a few days, until we outnumber them.

Conversion Units

1) Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2) 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3) 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4) Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5) Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

6) Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

7) 16.5 feet in theTwilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

8) Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

9) 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

10) Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

11) Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

12) 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

13) 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone

14) 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

15) 365.25 days = 1 unicycle

16) 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

17) 52 cards = 1 decacards

18) 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton

19) 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

20) 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

21) 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

22) 10 rations = 1 decoration

23) 100 rations = 1 C-ration

24) 2 monograms = 1 diagram

25) 4 nickels = 2 paradigms

26) 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at
Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League

27) 100 Senators = Not 1 decision