Went to the store the other day. Spent only five minutes , but when I came out, a motorcycle cop was writing a parking ticket.
So I walked up to him and said, "Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break." He ignored me and continued to write the ticket.
So I called him, "a pencil-necked geek". He glared at me and started to write another ticket for bald tires. So I called him, "horse-faced" He calmly finished the second ticket, placed it next to the first, and started writing a third.
This went on for about twenty minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. But I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner...


One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said, "I have to sleep with Daddy."

A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, "The big sissy."

Q: How can you tell the sex of a chromosome ?


A: You pull down it's genes....



CJSL

A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask, "Excuse me, did you want that cart?"

"No," he answered. "I'm only after one thing."

As he walked toward the store, he heard her murmur, "Typical male."

jaja ja bien

Seems an elderly man had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the man to hear 100%.

The elderly man went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again."

To which the man said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will five times!"

good
There was this multi-millionaire who had absolutely everything, money (obviously), a country mansion, a beautiful wife, race horses, everything that a man could want. In fact he was so rich that he decided to go off to Africa on a three month safari to shoot big game.

When he got back, the chauffeur driven Rolls had just got to the large, ornate gates at the foot of the drive to the set back house, when it was met by Jeeves, the butler. The millionaire wound down the window of the Rolls and said "Hello Jeeves, what on earth are you doing here?"

The butler replied "Well sir, I've got some good news and some bad news."
"Tell me the bad news first then." answered the millionaire.
"Well sir," started Jeeves "I don't know how to tell you this, but your favourite dog Reggie has died."
"Good God, not poor old Reggie, how did it happen?"
"Well sir, your two million pound race horse, Lucky Strike fell on him."
"That's terrible, why?" replied the millionaire.
"Well sir, a beam from the stable roof collapsed on him." said Jeeves.
"Why, what happened to the stable?"
"Well sir, it was on fire at the time."
"That's awful Jeeves how did the stable catch fire?"
"We think it was a spark from the house sir."
"Oh no, the house has burnt down, how did the fire start Jeeves?"
"The wind blew over one of the candles on your wife's coffin sir." "Good Lord, Angela died, why Jeeves"
"Well sir, she had a heart attack when she heard the news that your company had crashed on the stock market."
"I'm flabbergasted, tell me the good news Jeeves."
To which Jeeves replied..................
"Sir, your tomatoes have ripened early."