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TPCBF
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Re: The Jokes Thread

I found this new technique to improve my memory: I've quit listening to people, so I have less cr*p to remember!

Every time I leave my apartment I have to go back because I forgot something. Just the other day, standing in the local store, I reach for my wallet and wouldn't you know it? I forgot my pants.
Now that joke hits below the belt... tongue
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adriverhoef
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Re: The Jokes Thread

A married couple, both in their sixties, buys an antique oil lamp at the market. That evening, at home, they clean the lamp, brushing off the dust. While polishing the object, a genie suddenly appears. "Because you freed me, you can both make a wish," says the friendly genie. "Oh, how lovely," says the wife, "I'd like to go on a cruise with my husband." The genie replies, "Your wish will come true. It'll be arranged tomorrow morning." The wife looks at her husband with satisfaction. Not thinking twice, her husband says to the genie, "I'd like a wife now 30 years younger." The genie replies again, "Your wish will come true. It'll be arranged tomorrow morning." The wife cheers enthusiastically, "Tomorrow morning I'll be 30 years younger than you. I'll go get the passports for the boat trip and put them on the nightstand." After a good night's sleep, the couple wakes up the next morning. The man struggles to get up, stumbles out of bed, and staggers to the mirror. Shocked by what he finds there, he waddles back to his bedside table and reads his passport. Then he cries out: "Honey, I've aged thirty years!"
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TPCBF
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devilish Re: The Jokes Thread

For her birthday, I took my wife to an orchard and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour.
Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently...
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