So I went googling to find an appropriate IT dept cartoon but found the following instead:


A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jeweler applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0..

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5..0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system..

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
_______________________________________________________________________________________

Reply

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1..0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 6.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

Love it Jonnie-B :)

Congratulations to the following UK team members on achieving a Personal Milestone in yesterday's crunching:

Wicksman 11 years RunTime

Russellh2007 passes 300 Results for the UK team

Congratulations also to the following UK team members on setting new PBs

Nothing to report

UK team - Individual Ranking Movements

					
RunTime     		                Points		                        Results	
SomeMate    	up 1 place to 85	Aillerrg    	up 1 place to 64	djerram     	up 1 place to 39
Ari1        	up 5 place to 271	Spike_UK    	up 1 place to 69	Timcw       	up 1 place to 52
makini      	up 6 place to 328	Ari1        	up 3 place to 137	cornwell40  	up 1 place to 96
Russellh2007	up 3 place to 343	rose-in-bloo	up 1 place to 153	aldude52    	up 1 place to 152
davebaustin 	up 8 place to 473	Russellh2007	up 5 place to 176	blackdog13  	up 1 place to 153
            	        	        makini      	up 2 place to 213	jscho84233  	up 1 place to 186
            	        	        nate13      	up 2 place to 237	Ari1        	up 5 place to 210
            	        	        davebaustin 	up 12 place to 405	Russellh2007	up 4 place to 237
            	        	            	                	        makini      	up 3 place to 268		            			

UK Team post HCC Records

	RunTime	 	
	Date        	 	
	26-May-13	0:364:16:17:33	
	25-May-13	0:360:03:18:10	
	24-May-13	0:357:14:42:49	
	27-May-13	0:353:08:37:22	
	Points	 	
	Date        	 	
	29-May-13	1,328,578	 
	27-May-13	1,315,619	
	26-May-13	1,311,058	
	13-May-13	1,306,703	
	Results	 	
	Date        	 	
	26-May-13	1,772	
	25-May-13	1,717	
	27-May-13	1,708	
	24-May-13	1,691	

UK team Comparison of Daily RunTime, Points, Results

			                          	Hours		Points		      Results	
Yesterday's Production	0:343:09:08:21	  		8,241		1,288,021		1,530 	
Average per cd  									
May     	          320.1			        7,680		1,408,457		2,037	
April   	          369.9			        8,856		3,082,574		6,322	
									
7day Avg per cd	          348.8	           		8,352		1,291,795		1,634	

Milestone Targets for the UK team

	       	Target   		Current  	To Do    	7day Avg.	  Estimate	
	RunTime	  1,000 years		      345,750	      19,250	    348.8	   55 days Jul-25	
	Points 	1,250,000,000 		1,151,758,357	 98,241,643	1,291,795 	   76 days Aug-15	
	Results	    2,500,000		    2,405,292	     94,708	    1,634	   58 days Jul-28	
								

No. Of Members Active Yesterday

       				Total	        66	        out of	107	
				Group 1    	34 	        ,,  ,,	 34	
				Group 2    	20	        ,,  ,,	 25	
				Group 3    	 9	        ,,  ,,	 17	
				Group 4    	 0	        ,,  ,,	  7	
				Group 5    	 0	        ,,  ,,	 21	
				Group 6    	 3	        ,,  ,,	  3	

I don't record # members active per day but 66 out of 107 has got to be up there with the best!

Hi Jonnieb,

I have no objection to being called Apis Tintinn, but since I'm still on my way down I don't think it's going to be much of an issue!

And I think you do a fabulous job of keeping everyone informed and motivated to contribute to the team and to science.

Good afternoon all,

My IT department came good today and found me enough DVDs to justify running the fleet over the weekend. Not expecting to break any records but we should do OK.