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World Community Grid Forums
Category: Community
Forum: Chat Room
Thread: A Few Jokes to Brighten Up Your Day |
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Thread Status: Active Total posts in this thread: 172
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
 Hi Guys Surely there must be some of you guys that knows a few goos jokesCome on get posting and give us all a laugh |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...
1. I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. 2. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). 3. I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. 4. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. 5. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. 6. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe... 7. I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. 8. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." 9. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!" 10. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. 11. I will think of a password other than "password." 12. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. 13.I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too! |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
engine flush:
 motherboard flush: |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Your daughter is pregnant."
The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. And I was hoping that they would show up again. |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy..." Joke from SimpleSentiments.com - Pembroke - Pines Florida |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'." .... special dedication to all Tech support on the wcg |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
this is what happens when you use simple words....
http://allowe.cillix.nl/Humor/video/HollowMen.wmv I use simple words |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
http://allowe.cillix.nl/Humor/video/SkateboardingDog.wmv
Ok - who did this? I want to know..... who trained their dog????? vaio - was it you? graham? mousie....?  |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That will be $5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Why did it cost so much?" The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money." The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage, "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?" "Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper. The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag on this monkey read $50,000. The tourist was amazed and asked the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?" The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but the other monkeys call him the project manager." |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Check this out and post your comments, that is all I am saying LOL
----------------------------------------http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=coats Dont miss the last 5 minutes Enjoy [Edit 1 times, last edit by Former Member at Jul 29, 2005 11:18:52 PM] |
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