| Index | Recent Threads | Unanswered Threads | Who's Active | Guidelines | Search |
 |
World Community Grid Forums
Category: Community
Forum: Chat Room
Thread: The Jokes Thread |
| No member browsing this thread |
|
Thread Status: Active Total posts in this thread: 1243
|
|
| Author |
|
|
sptrog1
Master Cruncher Joined: Dec 12, 2017 Post Count: 1592 Status: Offline Project Badges: 
|
Family Dynamics*
I AM THE ELDEST I make the rules I AM THE MIDDLE I am the reason for the rules I AM THE YOUNGEST The rules don't apply to me *(Identifiers seen on the T-shirts of three siblings) |
||
|
|
adriverhoef
Master Cruncher The Netherlands Joined: Apr 3, 2009 Post Count: 2346 Status: Offline Project Badges: 
|
Someone tried to sell me a coffin last night. I said: "That's the last thing I need."
|
||
|
|
adriverhoef
Master Cruncher The Netherlands Joined: Apr 3, 2009 Post Count: 2346 Status: Offline Project Badges:
|
Some people in the cafe late last night begged me to stop doing police related puns.
----------------------------------------I said: "Okay …, I'll give it arrest." Have you heard that NASA is about to launch a new mission to the Moon to say sorry for Earth polluting space? It's called Apollo-G. My neighbour asked me "Where did your mother go on vacation?" I said: "Alaska." He said: "Never mind, I'll ask her myself." If you see two piers, would this be called a paradox? [Edit 1 times, last edit by adriverhoef at Apr 1, 2024 2:25:28 PM] |
||
|
|
Sgt.Joe
Ace Cruncher USA Joined: Jul 4, 2006 Post Count: 7844 Status: Offline Project Badges: 
|
If you see two piers, would this be called a paradox? That could be or it could be two physicians or two PH.D's  Cheers
Sgt. Joe
*Minnesota Crunchers* |
||
|
|
adriverhoef
Master Cruncher The Netherlands Joined: Apr 3, 2009 Post Count: 2346 Status: Offline Project Badges:
|
Some rotten thief broke into my house last night and stole my limbo trophy.
How low can you go? My son and I are getting new glasses today. After that, we'll see. What happened when 19 got into a fight with 20? 21. |
||
|
|
adriverhoef
Master Cruncher The Netherlands Joined: Apr 3, 2009 Post Count: 2346 Status: Offline Project Badges:
|
The other day I was sitting in my ten-year-old car, waiting in front of the barrier of an open bridge, with the engine turned off, because sometimes it can take quite a long time for a ship to pass through the lock, when I suddenly saw this blue sign behind a wide pillar with the following text:
STARTSo, quickly I started the engine again. It took eight minutes before the bridge was open again and I could continue on the way to my destination. As I drove past I looked at that blue sign again, because I thought it was a worthless advice, and the sign glared back at me: "Start your career now" (with some company's logo). |
||
|
|
sptrog1
Master Cruncher Joined: Dec 12, 2017 Post Count: 1592 Status: Offline Project Badges:
|
Pretention in All Ranks
----------------------------------------(The value of having an English Language Degree) *Scrod is a local term for a white-fleshed fish (often historically a small sized cod or haddock). As a renown dish, it was served, as a baked fillet skin on, at a ritzy hotel in Boston – The Parker House. A professor in the mathematics department of a mid-western university was headed to Boston for a meeting when his colleague approached him saying,” I hear you are going to Boston. We don’t get much fresh fish in Chicago. You should try the scrod. It can be bland but if they really know how to do it can be fabulous”. So, when he had arrived in Boston, he asked the taxi driver, “A friend recommends that, while in Boston, I get scrod. Can you tell me of a place? I hear it can be bland, but I want a place where they really know how to do it”. The cabbie replied, “I have heard that question many times and in many ways, but this is the first time in the past pluperfect imperative". [Edit 1 times, last edit by sptrog1 at Jun 8, 2024 1:08:24 AM] |
||
|
|
adriverhoef
Master Cruncher The Netherlands Joined: Apr 3, 2009 Post Count: 2346 Status: Offline Project Badges:
|
My grandfather told me: "I was at the airport recently and I was looking for the bathroom. I wondered what the 'lactation room' was, so I went in there. After I came back, I went in again."
|
||
|
|
adriverhoef
Master Cruncher The Netherlands Joined: Apr 3, 2009 Post Count: 2346 Status: Offline Project Badges:
|
I found this new technique to improve my memory: I've quit listening to people, so I have less cr*p to remember!
Every time I leave my apartment I have to go back because I forgot something. Just the other day, standing in the local store, I reach for my wallet and wouldn't you know it? I forgot my pants. |
||
|
|
sptrog1
Master Cruncher Joined: Dec 12, 2017 Post Count: 1592 Status: Offline Project Badges:
|
If there is a highway to Hell and a stairway to Heaven, it is probably because of the anticipated traffic.
|
||
|
|
|