Higglety, pigglety, my black hen,
She lays eggs for gentlemen.
Her eggs are much preferred at home
To Macaulay's Lays of Ancient Rome.

~Frank Richards, as Billy Bunter

Oh, dear! what can the matter be?
Three old ladies locked in the lavatory.
They were there from Monday to Saturday;
Nobody knew they were there.

Thr first one there was Elizabeth Bentsion;
She stopped to adjust her starboard suspension
That caught in a place that I just cannot mention
And nobody knew she was there.

The second one there was Amelia Vickers . . .

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.
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Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

After a bath, I try, try, try
To wipe myself 'till I'm dry, dry, dry.
Hands to wipe, and fingers and toes,
And two wet legs and a shiny nose.
Just think how much less time I'd take
If I were a dog, and could shake, shake, shake

Barber, barber, shave a pig!
How many hairs to make a wig?
Four and twenty - that's enough!
Give the barber a pinch of snuff.