I am a bit yes and no
Yes, I am so happy with my home life, love my son, love my husband, love my family. But I would like to see a job in a VERY near future, that is the only cloud on my sky
Everything is going pretty good me now. DH and I will be celebrating 5 years this April and I got a much needed raise at work a year ago which has helped us tremendously. However, DH is a little unhappy at his job because his boss is a huge B****. He has been there for over 5 years, and he hasn't gotten a raise. He does his job and the job of two other people. She won't hire anybody to do it, she has cut his OT. But what upsets us the most is that her and her husband (who also works at the company) can take a trip to Hawaii every 4 months for two weeks. Yet she won't give DH or anybody else a raise. And they have had tremendous sales growth. But in this economy, we are just thankful that he has a job and job security.
Speaking of economy and job security, our finances are another story. With my raise w/in the last year, they are alot better now than they were 2, 3, and 4 years ago. Before we got married, DH's ex-wife worked as a massage therapist, making $30/hour. She had Sundays and Mondays off, and worked Tuesday thru Saturday 10am to 6pm. Her work was a mile away from where she lived (she lived with her dad and brother. they paid all the bills). That is definetly an ideal work schedule for a single mother of a child. With DH being single, and her making what she was making, his child support was $248. Easily manageable.
2 months before we got married, she quits her job (she wasn't being laid off, she wasn't fired, she just quit her job). She gets a job at Target, making $8/hour, 30 miles away from where she lives, the graveyard shift. She works weekends and holidays. She got on welfare and foodstamps. She moved out of her dad's place and moved in public housing. 3 days after we got married (April 17th 2007), she filed for an increase of child support. Under California law, they look at household income. And since we were married, they look at my income too. We live in Texas, so after the shuffling of papers back and forth, the judge approved the increase on November 30, 2007. The new amount? $695. We thought it would take affect Dec 1st, or even Jan of 2008. Nope. Immediately. And its going retro, meaning it goes into affect the DAY she filed. Take the difference each month, and total it up. That is what we needed to pay w/in 90 days before they were going to charge interest and penalties. We wiped out our joint savings, my personal savings, his personal savings and she took our entire income tax return.
Now, don't get me wrong. I am NOT upset about the child support or even the fact that it increased like you wouldn't believe. No, I am mad that she quit a really good job just to take advantage of OUR income. When she was making $30/hour, she was making MORE than what DH and I make COMBINED. I am thankful that DH will do everything in his power to take care of his son. Even though these last 4 years we haven't had the money to see him with the price of gas and all. But we have never missed a bday, christmas, etc. via phone, facebook, skype, etc.
Her father is a car salesman, and she gets a brand new car EVERY 2 years. Paid off. He pays her car insurance. He pays for everything that she needs. She wont' let Vincent travel to Corpus Christi, Texas and come visit us because she thinks we will kidnap him and take him to Mexico. What pisses me off the most with that statement is that she lives in San Diego California. She is alot closer to the border than we are.
There is a silver lining finally. Child support ends when Vincent turns 18 or graduates from HS, whichever comes last. He turned 18 last month, and he walks across that stage and gets his HS diploma on June 21, 2012. Dh is already contacting Orange County offices to see what is our next plan of action.
What has pissed me off the most last year is that she no longer wanted a "check" from DH's employer - it gets automatcially taken out. No, she wanted us to send her cash. Uh no. WE need a paper trail. She also wanted more money for "extras". The money we send her each month is supposed to go to Vincent and only Vincent. Now, I know he was a Junior last year and this year he is a Senior. But asking us for $500 for Senior photos in one week in cash? $1000 in cash for Senior HS ring in one month? Uh no. We sent VINCENT, not her, a check for $50 for sr. photos and the ring that Vincent wanted? Only cost $250. And his grandparents from each side were gonna buy that for him as a gift. So why was she asking for money? Probably to spend it on herself.
Not to be mean, but I am going to LAUGH my butt off when child support ends and Vincent moves out. She is hurting herself and Vincent. And she will be the only one to blame if Vincent pushes her away.
Speaking of economy and job security, our finances are another story. With my raise w/in the last year, they are alot better now than they were 2, 3, and 4 years ago. Before we got married, DH's ex-wife worked as a massage therapist, making $30/hour. She had Sundays and Mondays off, and worked Tuesday thru Saturday 10am to 6pm. Her work was a mile away from where she lived (she lived with her dad and brother. they paid all the bills). That is definetly an ideal work schedule for a single mother of a child. With DH being single, and her making what she was making, his child support was $248. Easily manageable.
2 months before we got married, she quits her job (she wasn't being laid off, she wasn't fired, she just quit her job). She gets a job at Target, making $8/hour, 30 miles away from where she lives, the graveyard shift. She works weekends and holidays. She got on welfare and foodstamps. She moved out of her dad's place and moved in public housing. 3 days after we got married (April 17th 2007), she filed for an increase of child support. Under California law, they look at household income. And since we were married, they look at my income too. We live in Texas, so after the shuffling of papers back and forth, the judge approved the increase on November 30, 2007. The new amount? $695. We thought it would take affect Dec 1st, or even Jan of 2008. Nope. Immediately. And its going retro, meaning it goes into affect the DAY she filed. Take the difference each month, and total it up. That is what we needed to pay w/in 90 days before they were going to charge interest and penalties. We wiped out our joint savings, my personal savings, his personal savings and she took our entire income tax return.
Now, don't get me wrong. I am NOT upset about the child support or even the fact that it increased like you wouldn't believe. No, I am mad that she quit a really good job just to take advantage of OUR income. When she was making $30/hour, she was making MORE than what DH and I make COMBINED. I am thankful that DH will do everything in his power to take care of his son. Even though these last 4 years we haven't had the money to see him with the price of gas and all. But we have never missed a bday, christmas, etc. via phone, facebook, skype, etc.
Her father is a car salesman, and she gets a brand new car EVERY 2 years. Paid off. He pays her car insurance. He pays for everything that she needs. She wont' let Vincent travel to Corpus Christi, Texas and come visit us because she thinks we will kidnap him and take him to Mexico. What pisses me off the most with that statement is that she lives in San Diego California. She is alot closer to the border than we are.
There is a silver lining finally. Child support ends when Vincent turns 18 or graduates from HS, whichever comes last. He turned 18 last month, and he walks across that stage and gets his HS diploma on June 21, 2012. Dh is already contacting Orange County offices to see what is our next plan of action.
What has pissed me off the most last year is that she no longer wanted a "check" from DH's employer - it gets automatcially taken out. No, she wanted us to send her cash. Uh no. WE need a paper trail. She also wanted more money for "extras". The money we send her each month is supposed to go to Vincent and only Vincent. Now, I know he was a Junior last year and this year he is a Senior. But asking us for $500 for Senior photos in one week in cash? $1000 in cash for Senior HS ring in one month? Uh no. We sent VINCENT, not her, a check for $50 for sr. photos and the ring that Vincent wanted? Only cost $250. And his grandparents from each side were gonna buy that for him as a gift. So why was she asking for money? Probably to spend it on herself.
Not to be mean, but I am going to LAUGH my butt off when child support ends and Vincent moves out. She is hurting herself and Vincent. And she will be the only one to blame if Vincent pushes her away.
Brandy
For the first time in 3 years I can say that I am happy and things are going much better financially for us! My little business I started 3 years ago has finally taken off and I am making good money now and we have some of our bills paid off. I am planning a mediterranean cruise for September and I can not wait. Mymom even though she turned 85 yesterday is in much better health this year than last year so I think all is going good in my world.
it is a good start if you count having to work, no extra $$$ as a good start. My dh is a sweet guy and our relationship could be a lot worse, but it is pretty good actually. Yay! Other than that, I have a general dissatisfaction with life, but I think that my attitude needs adjusting. I'm trying, it is hard.
Bibi
I just want to scoop all of you up and all go out for coffee and just be women together!
My 2012 is flying by. Since i Had gastric bypass on 12/13 it's been very full of changes in my diet and lifestyle and dr visits and ups and downs. I still haven't come to a full 100% decision that the bypass was a good idea. My hair is falling out and that is really messing me up. I don't see a big change when I look in the mirror even though I"ve lost 45 lbs. My counselor says that is normal because your mind can't catch up as fast as the weight is coming off. I don't know.
I haven't felt really 100% happy since I made the big life change and moved to MS from WI to be with my now husband. I have zero friends here and every time I make one they move away or it's inappropriate because my husband is their boss or something. I could be friends with one person but we just don't have that much in common and I get really stressed out around her for some reason and I think she's a little crazy so I avoid getting any closer.
Being married is so much harder than I expected. I think I expected a picket fence and puppies and rainbows every day. We are both too old and too stubborn and everything seems to be a contest. It gets exhausting. Don't get me wrong, he loves me and I know that and I love him I just feel like I'm always working on our relationship and dragging him along. Our most recent argument was about me working overtime for the past 4 months and where the $ goes and the fact that I paid off 3 credit cards of mine and we went on vacation and then Christmas and they are nearly back to where they were. I said I wasn't going to work 60 hours a week anymore because there was no point if we were going to waste the $. His response.....I work 50 - 60 hours a week every week! - (he's salary and that is just part of his job and expected) and he's also stretching it - he doesn't work 60 unless it's a busy time like the holidays. We have other Little issues too but I don't want to bore everyone to death.
Basically, my life hasn't been going where I thought it would for quite some time, but I'm bound and determined to either love where it is going or do something to change it. I have decided THIS IS MY YEAR....the bypass was my 1st step. I got really depressed a couple winters back and let go of a lot of control and I am working to get that back.
I saw a wonderful quote by Maya Angelou [highlight=#fffacd]“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude" and "Nothing will work if you don't" - I say that one to myself every time I want to eat something or not exercise. [/highlight]
[highlight=#fffacd][/highlight]
[highlight=#fffacd]Here is to a fantastic 11 months [/highlight]
My 2012 is flying by. Since i Had gastric bypass on 12/13 it's been very full of changes in my diet and lifestyle and dr visits and ups and downs. I still haven't come to a full 100% decision that the bypass was a good idea. My hair is falling out and that is really messing me up. I don't see a big change when I look in the mirror even though I"ve lost 45 lbs. My counselor says that is normal because your mind can't catch up as fast as the weight is coming off. I don't know.
I haven't felt really 100% happy since I made the big life change and moved to MS from WI to be with my now husband. I have zero friends here and every time I make one they move away or it's inappropriate because my husband is their boss or something. I could be friends with one person but we just don't have that much in common and I get really stressed out around her for some reason and I think she's a little crazy so I avoid getting any closer.
Being married is so much harder than I expected. I think I expected a picket fence and puppies and rainbows every day. We are both too old and too stubborn and everything seems to be a contest. It gets exhausting. Don't get me wrong, he loves me and I know that and I love him I just feel like I'm always working on our relationship and dragging him along. Our most recent argument was about me working overtime for the past 4 months and where the $ goes and the fact that I paid off 3 credit cards of mine and we went on vacation and then Christmas and they are nearly back to where they were. I said I wasn't going to work 60 hours a week anymore because there was no point if we were going to waste the $. His response.....I work 50 - 60 hours a week every week! - (he's salary and that is just part of his job and expected) and he's also stretching it - he doesn't work 60 unless it's a busy time like the holidays. We have other Little issues too but I don't want to bore everyone to death.
Basically, my life hasn't been going where I thought it would for quite some time, but I'm bound and determined to either love where it is going or do something to change it. I have decided THIS IS MY YEAR....the bypass was my 1st step. I got really depressed a couple winters back and let go of a lot of control and I am working to get that back.
I saw a wonderful quote by Maya Angelou [highlight=#fffacd]“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude" and "Nothing will work if you don't" - I say that one to myself every time I want to eat something or not exercise. [/highlight]
[highlight=#fffacd][/highlight]
[highlight=#fffacd]Here is to a fantastic 11 months [/highlight]
Traci, I'd like to adopt your Maya Angelou quote! I need constant reminders right now until my stubborn mind gets it! AND YES, as you said,here's to a FANTASTIC ELEVEN MONTHS. Let's do this!
Debbie
I just got one more month ok'd for my blood pressure meds...then no more refills until I go. We talked about my weight last year and I'm heavier this year...so yep, I'm dreading it. But it won't get better if I don't face it.MindySue wrote:Debbie, I have postponed my yearly exam 2x now because I don't want my doctor to lecture me. I have to go the next time though (end of February) cause he has to see me before he'll renew my depoprevera prescription.
Debbie
[Not to be mean, but I am going to LAUGH my butt off when child support ends and Vincent moves out. She is hurting herself and Vincent. And she will be the only one to blame if Vincent pushes her away.[/quote]
You're not mean, Brandy. These kind of parents urk me to no end! I do hope Vincent realizes how she is and not have any bad feelings towards Dad because of his mom.
You're not mean, Brandy. These kind of parents urk me to no end! I do hope Vincent realizes how she is and not have any bad feelings towards Dad because of his mom.
Debbie
Am I where I want to be? No. Am I generally happy? Yes.
To expand on that: I have 3 Associates degrees and a Bachelors and I'm stuck waiting tables. My BF got laid off after only 6 months of work. He's been denied unemployment. He is starting to file for disability. I worry about our vehicles breaking down. I'm worried about how we will pay the utilities, much less anything else. But on the up side: I found a man who loves me and accepts me for who I am. The house is owned by his parents, so we have a roof. We have food and clothes. Life could only be better if I had fullfilling work and a little more money.
To expand on that: I have 3 Associates degrees and a Bachelors and I'm stuck waiting tables. My BF got laid off after only 6 months of work. He's been denied unemployment. He is starting to file for disability. I worry about our vehicles breaking down. I'm worried about how we will pay the utilities, much less anything else. But on the up side: I found a man who loves me and accepts me for who I am. The house is owned by his parents, so we have a roof. We have food and clothes. Life could only be better if I had fullfilling work and a little more money.
Jessi
You're not mean, Brandy. These kind of parents urk me to no end! I do hope Vincent realizes how she is and not have any bad feelings towards Dad because of his mom.[/quote]Thank you Debbie. And Vincent DOES know how she is. He practically ignores her when she talks about me or his Dad or anybody else for that matter. He has told his father that once he graduates, he is OUT of there. He wants to go to college and get a job and travel. I couldn't be more prouder of him. He is a good kid. He plays football, baseball, golf. He is in a rock band. He makes A's/B's and he is in a few AP classes that he will be able to get Dual Credit in and go to college as a Sophmore.debamas wrote:[Not to be mean, but I am going to LAUGH my butt off when child support ends and Vincent moves out. She is hurting herself and Vincent. And she will be the only one to blame if Vincent pushes her away.
Brandy
Surround yourself with positive people who bring something to the table. No one needs negativity. Stick around here!! We all luv ya!
Lynda
For all of you that are struggling, I just want to give you all a big hug!!
And I am right there with you. I am nowhere near where I want to be. And this year has started out bumpy. I'm burnt out and super stressed at work. I seem to be one of the only competent people in my dept so I have to pick up the slack for everyone else I get anxious about having to go to work and get physically ill thinking about it at times. I try to tell myself that at least I have a job, and that helps some of the time. My depression has been lurking for a while now and I can't seem to keep it from taking over. I had an appt scheduled with my dr to get a referal to talk with a shirk again (I fired my last one last year because he never actually listened to what I said) and hope that getting back into therapy will help me again. At least I have a wonderful bf who is totally supportive with all my emotional issues but it seems like so much to have him handle while he is trying to get into school to try to better himself, so I try to keep my crying and venting to a minimum.
And on top of that, I just found out that my cousin was in a car accident last night and is on life support until my uncle can get there to say goodbye We grew up together as kids so I feel like I'm going to lose a brother. And I'm worried that work won't let me take the time off to go out to CA because I am just coming off of a week and a half off...
And I am right there with you. I am nowhere near where I want to be. And this year has started out bumpy. I'm burnt out and super stressed at work. I seem to be one of the only competent people in my dept so I have to pick up the slack for everyone else I get anxious about having to go to work and get physically ill thinking about it at times. I try to tell myself that at least I have a job, and that helps some of the time. My depression has been lurking for a while now and I can't seem to keep it from taking over. I had an appt scheduled with my dr to get a referal to talk with a shirk again (I fired my last one last year because he never actually listened to what I said) and hope that getting back into therapy will help me again. At least I have a wonderful bf who is totally supportive with all my emotional issues but it seems like so much to have him handle while he is trying to get into school to try to better himself, so I try to keep my crying and venting to a minimum.
And on top of that, I just found out that my cousin was in a car accident last night and is on life support until my uncle can get there to say goodbye We grew up together as kids so I feel like I'm going to lose a brother. And I'm worried that work won't let me take the time off to go out to CA because I am just coming off of a week and a half off...
Em
My blog
My blog
Sorry to hear about your cousin. (((HUGS)))emarie803 wrote:For all of you that are struggling, I just want to give you all a big hug!!
And I am right there with you. I am nowhere near where I want to be. And this year has started out bumpy. I'm burnt out and super stressed at work. I seem to be one of the only competent people in my dept so I have to pick up the slack for everyone else I get anxious about having to go to work and get physically ill thinking about it at times. I try to tell myself that at least I have a job, and that helps some of the time. My depression has been lurking for a while now and I can't seem to keep it from taking over. I had an appt scheduled with my dr to get a referal to talk with a shirk again (I fired my last one last year because he never actually listened to what I said) and hope that getting back into therapy will help me again. At least I have a wonderful bf who is totally supportive with all my emotional issues but it seems like so much to have him handle while he is trying to get into school to try to better himself, so I try to keep my crying and venting to a minimum.
And on top of that, I just found out that my cousin was in a car accident last night and is on life support until my uncle can get there to say goodbye We grew up together as kids so I feel like I'm going to lose a brother. And I'm worried that work won't let me take the time off to go out to CA because I am just coming off of a week and a half off...
Brandy
emarie803 wrote:For all of you that are struggling, I just want to give you all a big hug!!
And I am right there with you. I am nowhere near where I want to be. And this year has started out bumpy. I'm burnt out and super stressed at work. I seem to be one of the only competent people in my dept so I have to pick up the slack for everyone else I get anxious about having to go to work and get physically ill thinking about it at times. I try to tell myself that at least I have a job, and that helps some of the time. My depression has been lurking for a while now and I can't seem to keep it from taking over. I had an appt scheduled with my dr to get a referal to talk with a shirk again (I fired my last one last year because he never actually listened to what I said) and hope that getting back into therapy will help me again. At least I have a wonderful bf who is totally supportive with all my emotional issues but it seems like so much to have him handle while he is trying to get into school to try to better himself, so I try to keep my crying and venting to a minimum.
And on top of that, I just found out that my cousin was in a car accident last night and is on life support until my uncle can get there to say goodbye We grew up together as kids so I feel like I'm going to lose a brother. And I'm worried that work won't let me take the time off to go out to CA because I am just coming off of a week and a half off...
OMG Em, sorry to hear about your cousing. News like that is so hard to handle, much less not getting time off. I wish you luck. As far as your job, keep on keepin' on! Co-workers like that would stress me out too, I'm lucky that I don't have that issue. You sound like a strong woman, keep up the good work!
*** Christi ***
Love to scrap - Need to scrap - Not enough time to scrap!!!
Love to scrap - Need to scrap - Not enough time to scrap!!!
emarie803 wrote:For all of you that are struggling, I just want to give you all a big hug!!
And I am right there with you. I am nowhere near where I want to be. And this year has started out bumpy. I'm burnt out and super stressed at work. I seem to be one of the only competent people in my dept so I have to pick up the slack for everyone else I get anxious about having to go to work and get physically ill thinking about it at times. I try to tell myself that at least I have a job, and that helps some of the time. My depression has been lurking for a while now and I can't seem to keep it from taking over. I had an appt scheduled with my dr to get a referal to talk with a shirk again (I fired my last one last year because he never actually listened to what I said) and hope that getting back into therapy will help me again. At least I have a wonderful bf who is totally supportive with all my emotional issues but it seems like so much to have him handle while he is trying to get into school to try to better himself, so I try to keep my crying and venting to a minimum.
And on top of that, I just found out that my cousin was in a car accident last night and is on life support until my uncle can get there to say goodbye We grew up together as kids so I feel like I'm going to lose a brother. And I'm worried that work won't let me take the time off to go out to CA because I am just coming off of a week and a half off...
Sorry to hear about your cousin. Maybe your work will understand since it's family.
Brandi, what an ordeal you guys have had to deal with, no you're not mean, she's just a piece of work. I have a really hard time with people like that. What makes them tick? Never mind, I really don't want to know. I think that is part of my problem, I just can't understand how some people can be so clueless in life? It makes me crazy. Even little stuff like the person behind the fast food counter who can't figure out change. I get so frustrated at people that don't care.
Anyway, off my soapbox.
Sus and all the other cherries out there that are in search of a job, I'm praying for you. That's a big stressor in life and I hope you can all land something this year.
LyndaKay, thanks, you're right, this is a great place to be, I just wish I could be here more! You gals ROCK!!!
Anyway, off my soapbox.
Sus and all the other cherries out there that are in search of a job, I'm praying for you. That's a big stressor in life and I hope you can all land something this year.
LyndaKay, thanks, you're right, this is a great place to be, I just wish I could be here more! You gals ROCK!!!
*** Christi ***
Love to scrap - Need to scrap - Not enough time to scrap!!!
Love to scrap - Need to scrap - Not enough time to scrap!!!
2011 went out with all sorts of promise and I was excited for things to come. But, starting with my first day back of 2012, I had read the schedule wrong and didn't show up to open the store. I ended up ruining 3 years of building myself up in one action and I got demoted back to stylist (whcih I'm still mad about because it was an honest mistake I read the schedule wrong and I'm not the only one who has goofed up like that in the past....I own it, but I think the punishment didn't fit the "crime"). I am still devastated since I wanted to go for manager of the new store in a few months. I am still getting to go to the new shop, and I'm pretty sure after talking with the owner yesterday that I will get my position back as assistant manager at the new shop. Not what I completely wanted but the new shop is so much closer to my house. I have decided to go back to school in the fall also, and the University of North Texas where my hubby works is a couple of blocks away from the new shop. So I keep hoping that maybe since I have been trying to get back to going to school and finish what I started that maybe all of this happening was a sign. LOL I'm still hopeful for this year, and I'm thinking I got ALL the really bad sutff out of the way! Anyways...2012 isn't awful, but the rest of it better be great!
~Jeanne~
*There's two kinds of people in this world,
those that can focus and those that HEY LOOK A SQUIRREL!
*There's two kinds of people in this world,
those that can focus and those that HEY LOOK A SQUIRREL!
lastonehom wrote:Oh Rachel, I do think of you lots, and hope that things will start turning around for you and your family.happayscrappay wrote:uh.
no.
Thanks Chris. Hope things are good for you, too.
emarie803 wrote:For all of you that are struggling, I just want to give you all a big hug!!
And I am right there with you. I am nowhere near where I want to be. And this year has started out bumpy. I'm burnt out and super stressed at work. I seem to be one of the only competent people in my dept so I have to pick up the slack for everyone else I get anxious about having to go to work and get physically ill thinking about it at times. I try to tell myself that at least I have a job, and that helps some of the time. My depression has been lurking for a while now and I can't seem to keep it from taking over. I had an appt scheduled with my dr to get a referal to talk with a shirk again (I fired my last one last year because he never actually listened to what I said) and hope that getting back into therapy will help me again. At least I have a wonderful bf who is totally supportive with all my emotional issues but it seems like so much to have him handle while he is trying to get into school to try to better himself, so I try to keep my crying and venting to a minimum.
And on top of that, I just found out that my cousin was in a car accident last night and is on life support until my uncle can get there to say goodbye We grew up together as kids so I feel like I'm going to lose a brother. And I'm worried that work won't let me take the time off to go out to CA because I am just coming off of a week and a half off...
I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. My husband lost a cousin suddenly last year due to being hit by a car while he was riding his bicycle. Hugs to you and I am so sorry for your loss.
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