And here's a little Stuart for you!
Cassandra
"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there." --Herb Caen
"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there." --Herb Caen
I think this is clean enough if not let me know and i will delete
[table] [tr] [td]Girls night out[/td][/tr] [tr] [td]Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!' [/td][/tr][/table]
[table] [tr] [td]Girls night out[/td][/tr] [tr] [td]Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!' [/td][/tr][/table]
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My hubby and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary last week at the PA Renaissance Faire -- and we wandered into this Medievel store that
sold knives, and swords and various weapons -- all of which looked really dangerous. Well, this mom and her little 5 year old boy were browsing
the store at the same time and we overheard the mother say : "Don't touch anything...these things are really sharp" -- and the little boy said so innocently: "well which ones aren't sharp?" -- omg...we couldn't stop laughing...
~Sharron
sold knives, and swords and various weapons -- all of which looked really dangerous. Well, this mom and her little 5 year old boy were browsing
the store at the same time and we overheard the mother say : "Don't touch anything...these things are really sharp" -- and the little boy said so innocently: "well which ones aren't sharp?" -- omg...we couldn't stop laughing...
~Sharron
"It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice"
~Frank Sinatra
~Frank Sinatra
Thanks!
Cassandra
"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there." --Herb Caen
"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there." --Herb Caen
Mommybruno wrote:
Honest this is my "Que"!!!! I really have a cat that has the same face as this one, and does the same thing with boxes! And here she is:
My joke coming from my second grade daughter 14 years ago:
Why was "6" scrared of "7"? "7" "8" "9"
I'm still laughing over that one!
Studies have shown that holding a fart in, can cause gas to gradually rise and seep into your brain. So it is recommended that you let it rip or you may eventually have "crappy thoughts".
Always make time for SCRAPPING!