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More effective and accurate wording?

The front homepage reads:


World Community Grid's mission is to create the largest public computing grid benefiting humanity. Our work is built on the belief that technological innovation combined with visionary scientific research and large-scale volunteerism can change our world for the better. Our success depends on individuals - like you - collectively contributing their unused computer time to this not-for-profit endeavor.


Wondering if it would better described:

"collectively contributing spare and un-utilized computer resources to this not-for-profit endeavor."

I just got to think this project uses resources such as hard drive space, CPU power, a good amount of memory and such.

I know alot of people who glitch if the wording isn't correct or totally 100% effective and proper. I have myself had to become obessed with wording in order to communicate properly to others and earn their respect.

I'm sure there are people out their who read the website and see flaws or something they don't like then close the page 30 seconds after opening and forget about it. Or they don't see power words used that grab their attention like resources. Seems kinds like resume writing and selling. I think the front webpage introduction is not effective enough to grab everyone's attention is all. I only pointed out one small thing that came to mind.

I am not a guru at grammer. I know alot of people here in Albuquerque who will dicredit instantly based on a few minor errors or imperfections.
[Oct 12, 2006 11:43:36 PM]   Link   Report threatening or abusive post: please login first  Go to top 
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Re: More effective and accurate wording?

I think "computer time" is a concept that anybody can grasp easily. Power words? Keep them away from me! Fake market-speak impresses nobody, but my feeling is "spare and un-utilized computer resources" is a tautology, incomprehensible, and (despite your claims) an ineffective selling point.

To attract the most people, WCG must use easy to understand, non-technical language wherever possible. I don't feel they always manage this as well as they could, but I'm not convinced this is a candidate for alteration.
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Sekerob
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Re: More effective and accurate wording?

Would your story imply, that 'a lot' of people in Albuquerque would 'diScredit' your words, or is the proper us-english 'ignore'?
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[Oct 13, 2006 1:31:22 AM]   Link   Report threatening or abusive post: please login first  Go to top 
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Re: More effective and accurate wording?

Alot of women here in Albuquerque in particular are well educated, smart, discerning and skeptical of things they know nothing about. They are especially this way when it comes to trying to get them to join an unverified project such as the World Community Grid. There is alot of mistrust that the website might be fake, hoax, contain a virus or otherwise have no benefit and interest to them.

I have studied them for a while and they use what I have come to call "filtering techniques". They look for improper english usage, little imperfections in grammer and really anything else to dismiss and discredit and to have no responsibility. I've discovered a great majority of people have real doubts that serious illness and disease will ever be cured especially using a computer at home. They don't even want to make the effort or care.

I have gotten farther with people in this city by using more sophisticated words in context, using accurate words to describe the problem or situation, not treating them as they have a lower intelligence, respect, honest and open, unbiased, and just having the right overall judgement for the right situation.

I look at the webpage folding@home and right away I see "nanotechnology", News, Awards, Science, Results and somehow it just feels more creditable and I have all the information right away that I could want or need.

I have been watching the statistics and it seems like we keep loosing as many people as we gain somehow. I'm sure there are improvements and refinements to be made which might encourage members to stay and more to join then otherwise would.

Also, I'm guilty of posting messages in wrong sections, irrelevant messages at times, and stuff with no real value. I don't know what effect messages boards have on people in relevance to joining or staying. But, I do think message boards tend to get off topic and sloppy in general at times.

Overall, I think refinements and stricter policies would bring more creditability and therefore more users to come and stay.

I don't claim my theory or way of thinking is correct, good for this project or beneficial. I only wanted to raise awareness on how alot of people think regarding the internet atleast in this city called Albuquerque, NM. The internet is a fake imaginary world to them full of hoaxes and bad stuff. The ability to quickly discern good information from bad information is now a main topic being taught at the University of New Mexico. I don't see enough references or information that can be verified to pass the required tests people may do.

Would be nice to hear what other have to say and think. I'm interested on how important wording and accurate image might be.
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Re: More effective and accurate wording?

Words are important, undoubtedly.

However, you have failed to provide an example of where WCG are inaccurate or ungrammatical.

It's "grammar", by the way. And the other word that eludes you is "credibility".

What we do here is significantly different to what Folding@Home do. You have to dig a little deeper to find that in-depth scientific project information on the WCG site, but it is very much present and correct.

The WCG site may not contain the most elegant prose imaginable, but it is (on the front page at least) accurate and grammatical.

My experience is that the backing of IBM carries more weight than any website. Also, the list of Advisory Board members makes reassuring reading - UN, WHO, countless academic and world renowned not-for-profit organisations....
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Re: More effective and accurate wording?

First off, "creditability" is a word. I did have to look it up, and it's certainly not as common as "credibility"... but it is a word.

Second, I agree that not everything on the WCG site is necessarily explained as well as it could be, but I kind of tend to doubt that's the reason people are quitting at the same rate they're joining. My guess is that has more to do with the impact (allegedly none) on people's computers.

As for people not joining because of the wording on the site... it's possible, but I don't think changing a single word on the home page will make a difference. I think what would make a bigger difference is putting big banners with the projects or graphics like we see on the agent. If people are turned off by the imperfect wording on the home page, then we need to reach out to more people to get all the people who won't be so quick to dismiss.
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Re: More effective and accurate wording?

Darkwing, indeed it is a word. It has a different (but related) meaning. From context, I believe credibility was intended. It's certainly the most credible interpretation ;-)

How about we divert this thread from a petty analysis of rbolo's original suggestion, and open it up to other suggestions? Just because that particular change doesn't seem promising doesn't mean other changes might not significantly improve WCG's image - and credibility.

"Incon-TH-eivable!"

"You keep using that word... I do not think it means what you think it means."

[Oct 13, 2006 7:17:22 PM]   Link   Report threatening or abusive post: please login first  Go to top 
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Re: More effective and accurate wording?

"They look for improper english usage, little imperfections in grammer and really anything else to dismiss and discredit and to have no responsibility. I've discovered a great majority of people have real doubts that serious illness and disease will ever be cured especially using a computer at home. They don't even want to make the effort or care"

If this is really the case there in New Mexico, this is a bizare way of making a decision. Glad I dont live in albequre with my grammer skills I wouldn't pass muster at all.

Logicly speaking though being a grammer Guru is hardly any basis for considering oneself educated. A truly educated person is one who has the ability to criticaly think in a resonable manner.

Sounds to me like they just dont want to crunch and dont trust the internet. So they come up with the grammer ruse in order to justify not wanting to take part.
[Oct 14, 2006 12:10:47 PM]   Link   Report threatening or abusive post: please login first  Go to top 
Sekerob
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Re: More effective and accurate wording?

Another sad day for english Bruce,
Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

grammar
7 entries found for grammar.
To select an entry, click on it.

Main Entry: gram·mar
Pronunciation: 'gra-m&r
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English gramere, from Anglo-French gramaire, modification of Latin grammatica, from Greek grammatikE, from feminine of grammatikos of letters, from grammat-, gramma -- more at GRAM
1 a : the study of the classes of words, their inflections, and their functions and relations in the sentence b : a study of what is to be preferred and what avoided in inflection and syntax
2 a : the characteristic system of inflections and syntax of a language b : a system of rules that defines the grammatical structure of a language
3 a : a grammar textbook b : speech or writing evaluated according to its conformity to grammatical rules
4 : the principles or rules of an art, science, or technique <a grammar of the theater>; also : a set of such principles or rules
- gram·mar·i·an /gr&-'mer-E-&n/ noun

What i think of the front page, is similar to how compelling the cover of a book is, does it sell the content or not. NOT at WCG, for hitting the button today, again fails me to get to the first page.......obtaining the tool to make it happen. How many will get hacked off over that, versus some silly argument over 'time' versus 'resource'.

ciao

PS There are 7 spelling errors in previous post and english is not my native tongue.

shhh
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Jake1402
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Re: More effective and accurate wording?

I must say that I, too, make judgements based on grammar, spelling and punctuation when judging web sites, etc. That said, I say thank God for spellcheck and I consider myself a great speller and proofreader. Nobody is perfect.

However, I joined WCG mainly because the causes are undeniable, IBM is associated with it, and there seemed to be an "all business" attitude that I did not find on other grid sites. Your mileage may vary.

My computing has never been affected by WCG and I run 100% on two machines, one a slow Celeron and another a P4 HT where I run both "processors" 100% and have no problems. I did figure out I like BOINC better.

I do not need fancy graphics or pats on the back. I need stable applications that do meaningful work that don't crash and that is what I have found here at WCG.
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[Oct 15, 2006 2:35:02 PM]   Link   Report threatening or abusive post: please login first  Go to top 
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