I'm not sure what you mean, but feel free to elaborate - either here or you can send me an email (see icon at bottom). Also have ICQ and AIM but not always at that computer.

Got in touch with the shrink and I'm supposed to try Xanax. Been there, done that, got the promotional items from the manufacturer. We'll see what happens. Why don't they make something like an epi-pen for thorazine?

I don't really mind being sick as long as I have some idea of what to expect. Instead, every day is like spinning some satanic roulette wheel. Occasionally Satan throws you a bone, but it's just to give you some false hope for the next time you get bent over.

I don't actually belief in satan, but the concept makes a good scapegoat.

debs - thank you for sharing your experience.

Panic attacks are different for everyone. I know the kind you're talking about. They sound similar to most of my experiences. This time, and the last dozen or so times over the past month were in a different league. Usually, especially with decades of practice, you can learn to talk yourself down. Tell yourself it will pass, that you've been through it before, that it's not that bad, and so on. I guess the recent phenomenon would be more appropriately called terror attacks. The rational mind can't even get a word in edgewise. It's all raw emotion. It's almost a dissociative experience where you feel more like an observer than a participant - except for the sh!tting your pants part. Ok, that hasn't happened yet, but . . .

I think that there is a psychological as well as biochemical component for normal panic attacks and that's why psych coping strategies help. But this feels almost completely biochemical - like any ability your brain has to attenuate or mitigate the raw emotional component is just gone, out to lunch, asta la vista baby.

For example, the other night, I was so doped up on tranquilizers and sedatives, I couldn't even stay conscious anymore. I fell asleep while still having the attack. Compazine and Klonopin are some serious downers and even these barely made a dent. Thank god they put me out so I could ride the rest of it out while unconscious. But the next morning, there was still some residual discomfort - even after being in a drug induced "coma" for several hours.

Thank you for understanding though. It helps to hear that other people have been through the same thing. I don't worry about what people think anymore. After a while you start to feel like a soldier who's seen a lot of combat - you just don't sweat the small sh!t.

Hey
Sorry I didn't elaborate. I have suffered with cluster headaches, a form of migraines, associated with panic attacks for over twenty years. And they do, slowly, become less intense and less regular!
I heard something neat yesterday. Fear is putting my situation between me and the solution. Faith is putting the situation behind me, and walking smack into the solution.
Right on twilyth. This is a kool thread. There is not always someone to bounce things off. So, writing here is kind of soothing for me...

A couple days ago I took my fiancé to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. She's really helped me out a lot the past few weeks. One of my problems is GERDS. I know that alcohol aggravates the problem, but I figured, what the frak, it's only one drink. I got a blue Hawaiian - vodka, blue Curacao, etc. I nursed it for the hour and a half we were there, but by the time I got back home, the cells of my stomach lining were beginning to revolt. I was in agony for the rest of the night and into the morning. I think the stomach problems have somehow been triggering the panic/terror attacks. I'm deathly afraid of being nauseous. I have no problem with other common phobias - needles, spiders, snakes, etc., but puking and flying get me very stressed out. However I've had to deal with both before so I'm still convinced that there's got to be more to this. I'm not normally such a wussy. Generally I can take a pretty fatalistic attitude and think 'well, I've done everything I can, whatever happens now is beyond my control so I may as well chill'. But that hasn't been the way things have been going lately. I still think it's a residual affect of one of the meds I stopped taking even though my shrink thinks I'm stoned. But the fact that massive doses of tranqs and sedatives don't do anything to help - except put me out - has got to mean something. It's definitely more than just emotional.

Anyway, I found that Zofran helps with nausea, cramps and the emotional sequelae. Unfortunately 10 4mg tablets is about $200 - can you believe that - it's really obscene. I did manage to find a good pharmacy in Canada though. They sell 10 ***8*** mg tablets for $70. God, you've got to love socialized medicine.

I found this place on an excellent web site - see www.drugbuyers.com - they give info and user reviews for all sorts of mail order pharmacies both foreign and domestic. It's a great resource. You have to register to use some of the features, but you don't have to sign up for the VIP membership - that's way to expensive - unless you spend a large chunk of your income on meds.