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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
When Congress assembled on December 7, 1829, Jackson sent in his first annual message, which attracted a great deal of attention. Meeting his old friend General Robert Armstrong the next deay, Jackson said, "Well, Bob, what do the people say of my message?" "They say," replied Armstrong, "that it is first-rate, but nobody believes that you wrote it." "Well," said Old Hickory good-naturedly, "don't I deserve just as much credit for picking out the man who could write it?"
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Lady Godiva, in the year 1057, exasperated her husband by persistently pleading with him to reduce the taxes on the people of Coventry. To silence her, he declared he would do so only if she rode naked through the town's market place. The 17-year-old Godiva called his bluff and set out for the town the next day on horseback, completely naked. However, by concealing most of her body with her long and copious hair, she preserved both her own modesty and her husband's pride, enabling him to reduce the taxes without loss of face.
A later embellishment of this almost certainly apocryphal tale suggests that Lady Godiva made a pact with the townspeople that they would remain indoors, behind shuttered windows, if they wanted their taxes reduced. Everyone complied except a tailor called Tom. This prurient citizen peeped through his curtains and was instantly struck blind (or, in some versions, dead). Poor voyeuristic Tom, blind or dead as the case may be, left the epithet "a peeping Tom" as a permanent legacy to the English language. |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
What's the hurry?" one Senator complained to another when the hard-driving Majority Leader, Lyndon Johnson, kept the Senate working late. "After all, Rome wasn't built in a day."
"No," sighed the other Senator, "but Lyndon Johnson wasn't foreman on that job." |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Traveling by train from Oxford to London one morning, Ronald Knox opened his copy of The Times and turned straight to the crossword puzzle, reputed to be the most difficult in the world. One of his fellow passengers, noticing that the priest had been staring at the puzzle for several minutes without filling in any of the answers, offered to lend him a pencil. "No, thanks," replied Knox, looking up with a smile. "Just finished."
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
In September 1776 Nathan Hale volunteered for a spying mission behind the British lines in New York. He was disguised as a Dutch schoolteacher, but was betrayed, arrested, and hanged on the following day. On the scaffold he is reported to have said, "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country."
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
When asked what she would have done if she hadn't started painting, Grandma Moses replied:
"If I hadn't started painting, I would have raised chickens." Wikipedia entry for Grandma Moses, |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Christopher Milne explained how his father tactfully corrected his table maners.
Once, when I was quite little, he came up to the nursery while I was having my lunch. And while he was talking I paused between mouthfuls, resting my hands on the table, knife and fork pointing upwards. "You oughtn't really to sit like that," he said, gently. "Why not?" I asked, surprised. "Well . . . ," he hunted around for a reason he could give. Because it's considered bad manners? Because you mustn't? Because . . . "Well," he said, looking in the direction that my fork was pointing, "suppose someboy suddenly fell through the ceiling. They might land on your fork and that would be very painful." |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Stehpan Cleveland, though constantly at loggerheads with the Senate, got on better with the House of Representatives. A popular story circulating during his presidency concerned the night he was roused by his wife crying, "Wake up! I think there are burglars in the house."
"No, no, my dear," said the president sleepily, "in the Senate maybe, but not in the House." |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
In 1983, Democratic Congressman Mo Udall of Arizona, who was famous for his wit and who had campaigned for president in 1976, was asked if he would run in the 1984 election. Udall responded, "If nominated, I shall run to Mexico. If elected, I shall fight extradition."
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
In order to assess their suitability for adopting a Vietnamese orphan, a Miss Taylor, who had run a Saigon orphanage, stayed with the Previn family for a weekend. At breakfast on the first morning, she asked if she might have a bowl of cereal. Eager to please, André Previn reached for the health-food cereal that his two small sons consumed with delight every morning and poured Miss Taylor a generous bowlful. While she ate, he held forth on the nutritional value of the cereal. Miss Taylor made no reply, however, until her bowl was empty.
"To be quite honest," she admitted, "I'm not crazy about it." Previn's glance happened to fall on the jar from which he had served Miss Taylor. "I'm not surprised," he said slowly, "I've just made you eat a large dish of hamster food." |
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