Information

[Flasher]

I seem to be the only one stirring up trouble in the debate forum lately.


http://www.cafemom.com/group/99198/foru ... ents_Paper



It seems this "teacher" has called this girl "loser" a couple of times over a few months. I'm sorry, but I can't think of a SINGLE SOLITARY circumstnce where this would be a good thing to do.



The article mentions that there are parents that defend this teacher and his teaching style. I'd LOOOOOOOOVE to meet these people.



Here's another link that shows the girls actual paper!!!



http://www.ksfy.com/news/national/87461092.html

[nmelton]

That is terrible!!!!!!!!!! If any of my professors caught any of us doing that...I am scared of what they would do to us.

[Jenn Kellams]

I am sorry....normally I would never be for calling a child that, but maybe this is something that kid needs!! Have you been to a middle school lately?!?! It's frightening! I think this is funny and maybe a wake-up call.













****I am sure I am being banished to hell right now by some, but I have been teaching in a middle school for 9 weeks! I will be the first to admit I would love to call a few of those kids losers!

[4peasinourpod]

I have a 6th grader. She has a teacher that doesn't like her. (she gets straight A's. she also has teachers that LOVE her...actually all but this one in particular). She is a confident, caring girl (messy as heck, but that is another story....wish you could see that girls locker )


She comes home on a routine basis saying how much this teacher hates her. Not about the teachers that LOVE her. She has asked to change schools.



my point being that these teachers are there to TEACH. It is a hormonal age, and some of these kids are searching for role models and POSITIVE reinforcement.

[milmomma]

As much as I'm sure some teachers get frustrated with the kids. Its the parents job to raise them so they don't become losers. I don't think its right for the teacher to say that. But it takes a special person to be a teacher, I know I never could. This is an overall tough one though, cause I think some kids need a wake up call. :/

[Flasher]

I have a 6th grader. She has a teacher that doesn't like her. (she gets straight A's. she also has teachers that LOVE her...actually all but this one in particular). She is a confident, caring girl (messy as heck, but that is another story....wish you could see that girls locker )


She comes home on a routine basis saying how much this teacher hates her. Not about the teachers that LOVE her. She has asked to change schools.



my point being that these teachers are there to TEACH. It is a hormonal age, and some of these kids are searching for role models and POSITIVE reinforcement.

Aww. I feel bad for you dd. Your story makes me really sad and reinforces the idea that it only takes one person or one comment to really crush a spirit (such as she routinely comments on the teacher that dislikes her and not about the other teachers that make her feel good). I hope things get better for her.


LOL at the messy part. Even though we homeschool, our kids each have a foot locker and my dd's is a freakin' mess. And she's an 8th grader!

[Flasher]

Some kids may very well need a wake up call. At 12 years old, I don't believe "loser" is going to do it. Children are very impressionable. Her parents can tell her 1,000 times a day that she is not a loser and that she has potential. Unfortunately though, at that age, she's only likely to dwell on the "loser" comment.

[4peasinourpod]

ohhhh...i need to say one more thing about Kendall. I asked her friends (she CAN be a tad dramatic). They said the teacher HATED her.

[MLee]

I cannot ever imagine a situation where is okay for an adult to tell a child that they are loser. Can you imagine how you would feel as an adult if you were called that by someone who was influential over your life? Now triple that and that is what it would be like if you were that child.

Perhaps the reason we have so many problems in our schools and the world today is because there are too many kids being told from birth, verbally and non-verbally, that they are worthless and are losers. I've never met a child of any age that didn't respond to praise. I can think of some choice things I'd like to do to that teacher and writing "loser" on his papers is way down the list.

[Flasher]

ohhhh...i need to say one more thing about Kendall. I asked her friends (she CAN be a tad dramatic). They said the teacher HATED her.

Ugh.

Tell her a homeshool teacher in Ohio likes her. And, I think she's cute. I've seen her pictures.

[Flasher]

I cannot ever imagine a situation where is okay for an adult to a child that they are loser. Can you imagine how you would feel as an adult if you were called that by someone who was influential over your life? Now triple that and that is what it would be like if you were that child.

I agree 100%.

[Flasher]

I would be remiss if I didn't take this opportunity to again remind myself that I am so blessed to be able to homeschool my children!

[Jenn Kellams]

I have a 6th grader. She has a teacher that doesn't like her. (she gets straight A's. she also has teachers that LOVE her...actually all but this one in particular). She is a confident, caring girl (messy as heck, but that is another story....wish you could see that girls locker )


She comes home on a routine basis saying how much this teacher hates her. Not about the teachers that LOVE her. She has asked to change schools.



my point being that these teachers are there to TEACH. It is a hormonal age, and some of these kids are searching for role models and POSITIVE reinforcement.

I wish it were as easy as saying we are there just to teach. I wish I was there just to teach and care about the children I have in my class. Fortunately you are a good parent and a caring one. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. We have many hats and that is what gets over looked OFTEN! We are behavior specialists, babysitters, free lance psychologists, mentors, creative sounding boards, academic researchers, entertainers, standardized test giver, professional secretaries......the list goes on!! A list I am CHOOSING to take on at that.

I totally agree with you. And please let me defend myself in saying I am one of the most caring people a child will ever have the pleasure of having on their side. I am very passionate about my work and my journey to becoming an amazing teacher. It is sad that your daughter feels that way. It is tragic actually. Kids at that age are also very melodramatic and self centered. They think everyone hates them. True scenario from today.....Me: T.J. stop talking. TJ: Mrs. Kellams I am trying to tell Devin what I am doing this weekend. Me: TJ this is the third time I have asked you to be quiet; I don't care what you have to tell him. TJ: Mannnn, Mrs Kellams hates me, she won't let me talk in class. Me: Well duh, no I won't let you talk in class, but that doesn't mean I hate you!

When a child in 6th grade, been arrested 5 times, has 26 referrals for behavior problems and in lunch detention daily, there is a problem and you are well on your way to looser-ville (I have seen the complete opposite scenario too......found out last week why a student I have has had all of those problems listed above.....mom is never present and dad is in jail for murder. I cried at the thought of what that kid goes home to every night. No wonder he has behavior issues.). I do not think what that guys did is right, but sometimes kids do need more brutally honest opinions (hopefully from parents but usually the ones that need it most its unlikely) and he did what some teachers only wish they could do every now and then.

[4peasinourpod]

I have a 6th grader. She has a teacher that doesn't like her. (she gets straight A's. she also has teachers that LOVE her...actually all but this one in particular). She is a confident, caring girl (messy as heck, but that is another story....wish you could see that girls locker )


She comes home on a routine basis saying how much this teacher hates her. Not about the teachers that LOVE her. She has asked to change schools.



my point being that these teachers are there to TEACH. It is a hormonal age, and some of these kids are searching for role models and POSITIVE reinforcement.

I wish it were as easy as saying we are there just to teach. I wish I was there just to teach and care about the children I have in my class. Fortunately you are a good parent and a caring one. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. We have many hats and that is what gets over looked OFTEN! We are behavior specialists, babysitters, free lance psychologists, mentors, creative sounding boards, academic researchers, entertainers, standardized test giver, professional secretaries......the list goes on!! A list I am CHOOSING to take on at that.

I totally agree with you. And please let me defend myself in saying I am one of the most caring people a child will ever have the pleasure of having on their side. I am very passionate about my work and my journey to becoming an amazing teacher. It is sad that your daughter feels that way. It is tragic actually. Kids at that age are also very melodramatic and self centered. They think everyone hates them. True scenario from today.....Me: T.J. stop talking. TJ: Mrs. Kellams I am trying to tell Devin what I am doing this weekend. Me: TJ this is the third time I have asked you to be quiet; I don't care what you have to tell him. TJ: Mannnn, Mrs Kellams hates me, she won't let me talk in class. Me: Well duh, no I won't let you talk in class, but that doesn't mean I hate you!

When a child in 6th grade, been arrested 5 times, has 26 referrals for behavior problems and in lunch detention daily, there is a problem and you are well on your way to looser-ville (I have seen the complete opposite scenario too......found out last week why a student I have has had all of those problems listed above.....mom is never present and dad is in jail for murder. I cried at the thought of what that kid goes home to every night. No wonder he has behavior issues.). I do not think what that guys did is right, but sometimes kids do need more brutally honest opinions (hopefully from parents but usually the ones that need it most its unlikely) and he did what some teachers only wish they could do every now and then.

((((hugs)))


I know about drama. Trust me. I have 3 girls. you might have missed my post that said i asked her friends. They agreed.

She has received multiple academic awards. She has been to Washington DC for academics. She is on the Math Team. I had her math teacher hop into my VAN one day to me to say that she is one of the best students that he has ever had. All I am saying is SOMETIMES that there are teachers that need a reality check. that is all.

[kittymomma]

I have a 6th grader. She has a teacher that doesn't like her. (she gets straight A's. she also has teachers that LOVE her...actually all but this one in particular). She is a confident, caring girl (messy as heck, but that is another story....wish you could see that girls locker )


She comes home on a routine basis saying how much this teacher hates her. Not about the teachers that LOVE her. She has asked to change schools.



my point being that these teachers are there to TEACH. It is a hormonal age, and some of these kids are searching for role models and POSITIVE reinforcement.

I wish it were as easy as saying we are there just to teach. I wish I was there just to teach and care about the children I have in my class. Fortunately you are a good parent and a caring one. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. We have many hats and that is what gets over looked OFTEN! We are behavior specialists, babysitters, free lance psychologists, mentors, creative sounding boards, academic researchers, entertainers, standardized test giver, professional secretaries......the list goes on!! A list I am CHOOSING to take on at that.

I totally agree with you. And please let me defend myself in saying I am one of the most caring people a child will ever have the pleasure of having on their side. I am very passionate about my work and my journey to becoming an amazing teacher. It is sad that your daughter feels that way. It is tragic actually. Kids at that age are also very melodramatic and self centered. They think everyone hates them. True scenario from today.....Me: T.J. stop talking. TJ: Mrs. Kellams I am trying to tell Devin what I am doing this weekend. Me: TJ this is the third time I have asked you to be quiet; I don't care what you have to tell him. TJ: Mannnn, Mrs Kellams hates me, she won't let me talk in class. Me: Well duh, no I won't let you talk in class, but that doesn't mean I hate you!

When a child in 6th grade, been arrested 5 times, has 26 referrals for behavior problems and in lunch detention daily, there is a problem and you are well on your way to looser-ville (I have seen the complete opposite scenario too......found out last week why a student I have has had all of those problems listed above.....mom is never present and dad is in jail for murder. I cried at the thought of what that kid goes home to every night. No wonder he has behavior issues.). I do not think what that guys did is right, but sometimes kids do need more brutally honest opinions (hopefully from parents but usually the ones that need it most its unlikely) and he did what some teachers only wish they could do every now and then.

BRAVO!!!! BRAVO!!!!! Very well said!!! I agree that a teacher shouldn't call a student loser... but I also agree that teachers are being called upon to do more and more raising of the children.. we now feed them breakfast, lunch, and they are pushing to have school go until 5:00 so probably dinner. We are often called upon now to teach them manners, how to use utensils.....cleanliness, etc. These are all things their families should be doing. All the while teachers are constantly being called "losers" in a way---saying we aren't teaching the kids enough....it is because we CAN'T teach academics until we get through all the other stuff---which is just as important--but isn't measured on a standardized test.


Again, I don't think it is right to call a kid a loser----but people have to realize that teachers are under constant pressure to do more and more academically while students are coming to school less and less ready to learn.

[deerewife]

I truly believe too many kids are being sent to school with so many problems that some do need a wake up call. However, 'loser' is not a term that should be used. There has to be a more constructive way to offer criticism.

[MamaK321]

What strikes me first is that this teacher is ALLOWED to use this type of "teaching method" at all. I would expect the teachers, administration, school district would have had a policy about negative reinforcement. I know our teachers aren't allowed to tell a student "if you can't learn this basic math then get out of my class", "you don't even know enough English to read this essay, get out", "you're too much trouble for me to waste my time teaching." let alone single words like stupid or loser. Teachers do have to be VERY cautious because anything they say will be construed by the student. They will always hear the worst part and most likely put a negative spin on things.

At my middle school we have to put a positive spin on everything we say! and honestly it's a little too PC for me when these kids need to know that they will be punished for their behavior. They are not 'bad' kids they are only making bad decisions. There is no punishment, there is conflict and resolution. It is not detention, it is a positive intervention. Which would all be great if we weren't dealing with the same handful of kids every day making the SAME bad decisions. Sometimes I wanna smack some sense into them. *sigh* I know that sounds bad but comeon!!! These kids flat out have no respect for themselves or the people around them. And please don't think I am exaggerating, this is an exact phrase I've heard from more than one student. "I don't care about myself." "I'm a bad kid" "Why do you care about us" "This is a bad school". and my favorite, "it's because I'm ____ (hispanic, black, white, you fill in the blank) everyday I stand up against these comments telling these kids that they ARE special, they MATTER, we CARE! Just how long will it take for them to finally believe? It is exasperating and wears us down and I wonder just how much longer I can do it. There is something about todays youth that concerns me and I'm beginning to see that it is not confined to the city where I live, that is some small relief, if I can call it that much.

[meteechtap]

I cannot ever imagine a situation where is okay for an adult to a child that they are loser. Can you imagine how you would feel as an adult if you were called that by someone who was influential over your life? Now triple that and that is what it would be like if you were that child.

I agree 100%.

Me too 100% When I was in color guard (18 yrs ago) the band director at the time(fired for his mouth a few months later) chose to call our

guard "Jerry's Guard" I can promise it hurt as a teenager and still makes me sad to this day.

[Jenn Kellams]

I know about drama. Trust me. I have 3 girls. you might have missed my post that said i asked her friends. They agreed.

She has received multiple academic awards. She has been to Washington DC for academics. She is on the Math Team. I had her math teacher hop into my VAN one day to me to say that she is one of the best students that he has ever had. All I am saying is SOMETIMES that there are teachers that need a reality check. that is all.

I did miss it, actually I think I posted at the same time....lol

And there are quite a few teachers I would like to punch between the eyes. They are so out of touch with children and there solely for a paycheck; so much so that it disgusts me. There are a few teachers at the school I am at that are exactly like what you talked about. The kids all swear that they hate them the most. When all actuality they are still teaching like they taught 15-20 years ago and need a serious reality check!

What strikes me first is that this teacher is ALLOWED to use this type of "teaching method" at all. I would expect the teachers, administration, school district would have had a policy about negative reinforcement. I know our teachers aren't allowed to tell a student "if you can't learn this basic math then get out of my class", "you don't even know enough English to read this essay, get out", "you're too much trouble for me to waste my time teaching." let alone single words like stupid or loser. Teachers do have to be VERY cautious because anything they say will be construed by the student. They will always hear the worst part and most likely put a negative spin on things.

At my middle school we have to put a positive spin on everything we say! and honestly it's a little too PC for me when these kids need to know that they will be punished for their behavior. They are not 'bad' kids they are only making bad decisions. There is no punishment, there is conflict and resolution. It is not detention, it is a positive intervention. Which would all be great if we weren't dealing with the same handful of kids every day making the SAME bad decisions. Sometimes I wanna smack some sense into them. *sigh* I know that sounds bad but comeon!!! These kids flat out have no respect for themselves or the people around them. And please don't think I am exaggerating, this is an exact phrase I've heard from more than one student. "I don't care about myself." "I'm a bad kid" "Why do you care about us" "This is a bad school". and my favorite, "it's because I'm ____ (hispanic, black, white, you fill in the blank) everyday I stand up against these comments telling these kids that they ARE special, they MATTER, we CARE! Just how long will it take for them to finally believe? It is exasperating and wears us down and I wonder just how much longer I can do it. There is something about todays youth that concerns me and I'm beginning to see that it is not confined to the city where I live, that is some small relief, if I can call it that much.

Nothing peeves me or upsets me more than to hear a child say they don't care about themselves or their education. I gave a re-take test today to students who made an F or D on the first one. I actually had a student turn down taking it to draw because he didn't care what his grade was. It hurts me but I can't FORCE him to make a better grade. Or when a student told me last week that he didn't care if he went to ALC, the alternative learning center for behavior issues, because he thought it was fun to be in trouble. Its saddening.

[gonecamping]

I work in a classroom of kids with severe behavior issues. And they are 1st grade -4th grade. Self contained. These are kids that will most likely be the "losers" this teacher is talking about. Let me tell you, out of the 8 kids in our class, all who are emotionally disturbed and some who have autism/aspergers, only 1 of them has a parent that is worth a damn. We celebrate their victories every day only to have their parents tear them down and make life a living hell for them.

There are some awful teachers out there but there are more amazing ones. My 16 yr old has had some awful teachers who won't work with him due to his disability (aspergers) and I had one who actually asked me why I didn't sign him over to the state and put him in foster care. Wow! My older ds had a 6th grade teacher who called him the most mean spirited child she ever met, to his face. Why? because he had a severe overbite that we were in the process of correcting with braces. A girl kept calling him bucky beaver and making fun of his teeth. He was 12. He drew a picture of her with potatos growing out of her ears ( I guess she had some ear wax buildup in her ears.) and she started to cry. The teacher refused to answer any of his questions the rest of the year and daily would complain about him. It took years to undo that damage. From that point on any time a teacher called him out on anything, he would refuse to participate at all in class. This went on until he was a sophomore when a teacher finally recognized him for what he really was. A smart kid who had a load of potential. He praised him daily and built him up.

School should be a safe place for kids to learn, for them to trust the adults that are teaching them. There should be discipline but never negatives like "loser". Yes they need brutal honesty sometimes but all it takes is one teacher to destroy a kids self esteem. I will be interested to see what happens to this teacher. Kids need honesty but there are ways to do it without destroying them in the process.