Information

[wahoo_mom]

I am very grateful that we have the freedom to choose. In some traditions, women don't have the choice and their husbands can even change their first names.

[Janell]

If not change your name and become a family. Why bother getting married? I do however believe in some circumstances it would be appropriate for the man to take the wife's name.

I think most people would agree that getting married is about much more than a name change.

I agree.

I disagree I only married my husband for his last name....okay, okay and his money!

[MLee]

If I had to do it over again I would hyphenate. I truly believe that women should not have to give up their identity just because they marry. I loved my heritage and regret not doing that, especially the second time around.

However, like you, I wouldn't solely want my maiden name because of kids. If I weren't planning on having children it would be a different story entirely.

[wahoo_mom]

If I had to do it over again I would hyphenate. I truly believe that women should not have to give up their identity just because they marry. I loved my heritage and regret not doing that, especially the second time around.

However, like you, I wouldn't solely want my maiden name because of kids. If I weren't planning on having children it would be a different story entirely.

I don't feel like I gave up my identity when I changed my name to his. It is just a label, not who I am.



edited for typo

[betseymae]

I didn't want to give up my last name either. I kept both and hyphenated.

[megamay]

I don't feel like I gave up my identity when I changed my name to his. It is just a label, but who I am.

thats how I feel. a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet...

[Jenn Kellams]

I'm a traditionalist in many ways. I believe marriage is a joining of two people. Love is the reason they join. So to me marriage is important. I love the idea of a small wedding to let your close friends/family know that this is the person you are devoted to for the rest of your life.
Last names- I took my husbands happily. I did not have a horrible last name and the married name was nothing special. To me it was a symbol of our marriage and I don't mind showing the world I love this man. Over all, with my husband in the military I can't even imagine not taking his name. The army doesn't recognize common law marriages, or long term couples or anything of that. So I've seen my share of quick marriages, I don't agree with them but understand.

I am late to this conversation but I agree with you. I was happy to take my husband last name. I am very much a traditionalist also and this was an important step for me. Also my last name was Patton and do you know how many times in my life I was asked if I was related to General Patton?!?! lol Now his mom was very much a feminist and basically refused to change her last name and never did. When she and her husband (my husbands father) had him, they hyphenated his last name. He was never really close to his father and uses his mothers lat name. When we got married I only took the part of his name that was his mothers. Our children will only have that part too. I now have two middle names. I kept my original middle name and now my maiden name too.

[scrapscot]

As the genealogist in the family, it just felt right for me to change my name both times I married; my younger sis has been married 3 times and after the divorce from her last husband changed her name back to her 2nd husbands name (she was widowed from him) because her first name began with "CHER" and the last name of her 3rd hubby ended with "CHER". She didn't want that! My children obviously have different last names from mine because they were products of my first marriage and I have the last name of my 2nd spouse. It was fun having the last name of FLOWERS though, but now I have a good SCOTTISH last name.

[dianagirly]

I didn't even have to stop and think about it. I always wanted to be associated as my husband's wife. I still have my first name, which is just me and my identity. And then his last name-because the man is my other half. Just made perfect sense to me.

[suslvgeo]

DUDE...I got to become a LUSH, of course I took Geo's last name!


I would have regardless. I don't think I gave up my identity at all. And I agree that I am just happy that we are free to make that choice. When I married Geo it never even crossed my mind that we would not be together forever so I never worried about having to change it back and the hassle it would cause.



I do think that if you are a proffesional though before you get married and have a practice or something then it might be wise to hyphenate or keep the maiden name as you have patients or clients that know you by the name you had before.



YIKES, I am rambling....all those dang lego pieces have fried my brain. LOL

[ctmhdanielle]

I would change my name. I just have this thing about everyone having the same last name. My best friend got married and called me a month later, after changing her name. She said that she felt like she had lost who she was. They've been married for 2 years now and she's gotten over it. It was a really hard thing for her at first, she felt like she changed it because she had to. I don't have any real advice for your friend, but I hope she'll come to a decision that she's super happy about.

[koala1966]

It was never even a question in my mind that I wouldn't take my husband's name. I'm very traditional and I think that when you take your husband's name you are giving him honor and respect. Which is a part of your vows, so changing your name is just carrying through on what you've promised. I want people to associate us, lol, I'm glad to be married to him and I love being Mrs. -----. In fact when someone calls me Miss or Ms., I'll correct them. I worked hard to become a Mrs. Although I admit it's a little annoying for people to assume that your last name equals your ethnicity, people are always assuming I'm of hispanic descent and then act offended that I'm not (I've actually had people say "How did you get that last name?" - exactly how many ways are there for a woman to get a last name, aside from birth and marriage?). Of course even with my maiden name, no one would know my ethnicity, since it was my father's stepfather's name.