Information

[Renee]

 I guess my biggest quam with this situation is that the older children have to take care of the younger ones. It's one thing to help out but another to be responsible for taking care of a younger sibling.  That's not fair.

[mysunshine]

 You all make me laugh.  It wasn't but two generations ago when having 10-20 kids was quite normal.  Both of my dad's parents, who are in their early 80s at the moment,  come from families of 15 or so kids.  I don't think they did it to support a farm or anything like that.  They may not have understood female cycles...they may not have cared.  I have no idea, but comments about uteruses falling out are ridiculous given centuries of that type of use.  We on the other hand, choose to control our natural body cycles with hardware, chemicals and hormones that for all we know could be causing a great deal of damage to human genetics.  Now that's unnatural.

As for the family - if it was so horrible, I'd guess some of the kids would have left by now.  They are old enough to and if it was truly unbearable would have probably done so against any pile of threats by mom and dad.  The kids are given responsibilities by their parents.  Its more than most of us were given and more than what most of us expect from our children, but I don't think its "sad" or ruining their childhood to expect them to cook some meals or do some laundry.

[AnnOminous]

 Yea, it was routine for women to have lots of children.  It was also routine for women to die in childbirth and they died a lot younger, too.

[imwickedwitch]

 Just because you can does not mean you should.  I think she is taking a huge risk with her health and considering she has all those children one would think she would want to be around to see them grow up.  But, it is a free country and they are free to have as many children as they want.   We don't have to agree with it but we need to respect their right to live as they wish.  Now if the state is supporting them, that's where it would be our business.  The rest of us should not be financially liable for their "gifts from God".

On the subject of "unnatural" birth control, I think it is wonderful that women now have the option to choose how many children to have and when or whether to have children at all.   The fact that we can choose to have only the children we can emotionally or financially rear is marvelous!  KUDOS to medical science!  I consider each of those researchers to be gifts from God as well!

[4peasinourpod]

 She just needs one like my Delaney and she'll stop.  Trust me.

[mysunshine]

 I didn't say that birth control isn't wonderful.  I said it is unnatural.  For most of us, we are placing drugs, fillers and hormones into our bodies without medical necessity.  (i.e. it doesn't "save us" from a medical issue...but does save us from a mental/emotional one!)

People do die in childbirth or as a result of it, but if you've had a child recently you'd know that they keep really good tabs on what is going on with us these days.  I think a lot of the reasons people used to die are now monitored and fixed when you are in a hospital - hemmorage for example.

For the record, I can't imagine having that many children or wanting it, but the reasons people give for saying they shouldn't have so many don't hold much weight with me.  Families come in all shapes, sizes, religions, mixes, etc.  This is just a different flavor and controversial like same sex parents or multi-race parents would be in some parts of the country.

[Jenn Kellams]

 Living in AR and being in politics, I've met this family a number of times and I do not like them or the older boys (young men) at all. The girls are very quiet so I haven't really talked with them.

However, from a medical viewpoint, what doctor would allow a repeat C-section for the fourth time at her age after that many children? What keeps her uterus in place in the first place!?!  There has to be something mentally unstable for a woman to want to be pregant all of the time and not enjoy the time she has with the ones she has already given birth to.

As for Duggar, he's just an asshole from start to finish on all levels - religious, political, parentally, etc. If I never had to be at a function with him again it would make me a very happy person.

Oh, and he doesn't have a job. There are a group of Republican politicians around here that do "investments" and they live off of that and "God's provisions." I believe God will provide just not necessarily in the way these politicians get their money, ykwim? When they ran out of money after his last failed political campaign they shopped around for the television show and now they have income from that. Shame on people who watch and support their absurd lifestyle.

I don't know him personally, but my cousin does.  They do have a job or he does reather.  He owns several commercial real estate properties.  They get income off of that.  They of course also get income off of the show.


On another note:
Their religious belief is that God will provide them with what they need.  I don't personally condone what they do, but whatever floats their boat.  It is not my place to judge.  I am thankful he doesn't live in my state and is into politics, b.c while I am a Christian, we MOST definitely do NOT share the same religious beliefs.  If they want to have children, they are going to do it regardless whether a doctor tells them they can't or not I feel.  She appears to be in healthy shape so more power to her.

[kcatt79]

 You all make me laugh.  It wasn't but two generations ago when having 10-20 kids was quite normal.  Both of my dad's parents, who are in their early 80s at the moment,  come from families of 15 or so kids.  I don't think they did it to support a farm or anything like that.  They may not have understood female cycles...they may not have cared.  I have no idea, but comments about uteruses falling out are ridiculous given centuries of that type of use.  We on the other hand, choose to control our natural body cycles with hardware, chemicals and hormones that for all we know could be causing a great deal of damage to human genetics.  Now that's unnatural.

As for the family - if it was so horrible, I'd guess some of the kids would have left by now.  They are old enough to and if it was truly unbearable would have probably done so against any pile of threats by mom and dad.  The kids are given responsibilities by their parents.  Its more than most of us were given and more than what most of us expect from our children, but I don't think its "sad" or ruining their childhood to expect them to cook some meals or do some laundry.

I so agree with you!

[Flapdoodle]

 of course it doesnt have anything to do with us. that doesnt mean we can't have opinions.

they just identified the remains of Caylee Anthony. that has nothing to do with me either but I am still mourning for her and her family and I still have an opinion about it.

When you make the decision to have 18 kids and basically sell access to your life via a television show, you are just ASKING for people to have opinions.

I agree, Meg.

[JeanG]

 I'm with mysunshine (Angie).  I can't imagine doing it myself, but I've known large families (13-15 kids) and they all seemed happy.  One of the surgeons in this area had one of those families - they stopped when the last child was Down's.  I saw that child again when she was 8 - because of all the love and attention she was given, she was well-behaved and only a grade level below "normal".  I haven't seen her in years - but I'm willing to bet she is just as sweet and doing well mentally.

When I had my 2nd ds, my roomie had a girl.  She also had a 5 yr. old boy.  She was 21. She had not been married to the 5 yr. old's father, but was now married to an older man, one who was in her same church - one that didn't believe in birth control.  When we had time together, she told me she didn't want to have 13 kids by the time she was 35 - those women with large families looked so shell-shocked.  Yet she couldn't refuse a blessing from God.  A year later she had a boy.  Then another year later she had twins (even the doc hadn't known ahead of time).  Another 2 years brought a girl.  After that they moved from this area and I haven't heard from her.  That was almost 27 years ago when we were roomies....I sure wish I could find her now and see how she's doing.

[DaisyLou]

 Yea, it was routine for women to have lots of children.  It was also routine for women to die in childbirth and they died a lot younger, too.

And it was routine for a few children to die too...

My sil is pregnant with her 13th. Her 10th is borderline retarted, her 11th died of heart conditions at 2 months old, her 12th is only a year and is way behind developmentaly and she has been told many times that her days of bearing healthy children are over and yet at 45 years old she continues. Who knows what these people are thinking. I tend to agree that it becomes habit. She doesn't seem to know what to do with herself when she's not pregnant. Can you believe that between her 11th and 12th she was jealous of me getting pg with my first after us trying for years??? They live off her husband's military salary and large monthly government stipends. Yes the older children look after the younger ones and she basically spends her days on the couch eating. She doesn't even hold the baby.
My point is, some people only find personal value in procreation. And imo they need to get another hobby. I think it's sad.
(oh, and I'd never heard of the Duggers until this thread... off to google them...)

[DaisyLou]

 Ok I just checked out their website and omg! If that's what god provides I think I'd better start believing!! Seriously, a pool table, media room, cafeteria kitchen, etc... I hope the US taxpayers didn't pay for all that!

[ctaylor0312]

 I certainly lost.  How many children does this family have?

[bluetulip]

 of course it doesnt have anything to do with us. that doesnt mean we can't have opinions.

they just identified the remains of Caylee Anthony. that has nothing to do with me either but I am still mourning for her and her family and I still have an opinion about it.

When you make the decision to have 18 kids and basically sell access to your life via a television show, you are just ASKING for people to have opinions.

I very much agree with Meg - I think its the same concept with Jon and Kate plus Eight - when you are on television, you are asking for people to have opinions.  Its basic human nature to have opinions.

[LKappy]

 They get paid for making it our business.

I have no issue with how many children someone has as long as they are the ones taking care of them. In this situation the parents are not raising the children...the children are raising the children. I see nothing wrong with kids doing chores, etc....but they should NOT be responsible for their parents "blessings". I have three children and I do NOT expect my oldest to be the caregiver to my younger two.  It is not her responsibility. My grandmother had 11 children that SHE raised alone. She did not assign her younger to the older.

The mom needs to stop acting like an easy bake oven and start being a MOTHER.

[Emsdancemom]

 I find it interesting that the oldest son is planning a wedding to a girl from FL. They only hold hands and do not plan to kiss until they are married. They also plan to have a large family.

[megamay]

 hmmm, is taking birth control pills 'unnatural' ? I guess it is, but would you say that all babies are a gift from God, even those conceived 'unnaturally' via fertility treatments? We mess with our fertility on all ends of the spectrum. Personally I think that all the technology that humans have developed NATURALLY comes from our superior brain size and success in the evolutionary dice roll.

As for generations of past having dozens of kids - yep but they also put them to work in mines, mills, farms and who knows what else - would you say THAT is a good thing?

And if having your kid work in a mine to pay the rent is not a good thing, then how is having your kid provide free babysitting services to their younger siblings so that you dont have to pay for daycare any different?

 I may be in the minority about this, but as a mom with 7 kids from a blended family, I admire her organization, the values, work ethics that she wants to instill in the kids. Our kids learned at an early age how to be functional, and learn responibilities. for each kid in our family they had a zone that they were responsible  for  the entire month, then the following month it rotated. Of course with the little ones we delegated simple chores like helping mommy sort laundry, fold napkins, pick up toys and dirty clothes. Everyone had a zone including myself, however if the zone wasnt done, then I would pitch in and show them how to do it.   With so many children today being consumed with labels and the gotta have it now attitude, The schools are filled with kids who have a sense of entitlement where they act like their parents and teachers owe them everything. Most kids today are very sarcastic and show very little respect. I work with several schools as a volunteer and this has been my experience. its nice to see that they are trying to raise kids to not define themselves by things but by character and morals.  With the economy being what it is, we could all use some money saving tips from that family.  I have watched the show and I noticed that they said they have several rental properties that they own and collect money from. I think they said they were commericial properties. 

as for the older ones helping with their buddies, thats how they did it in my grandmothers day and morals and values were much better back then when people were less self centered and wanted to please their parents. My older kids helped out lots with the little ones.  If I went grocery shopping, the watched after the others. The only drawback is that they dont know when to stop being bossy after I get back. They forget that Im the alpha mom in charge so I have to remind them that Im the mother- and I will correct if need be.

Medically, I have heard nurses say that it is unhealthy to have that many because the uterus lining thins out over time. So that can be a real danger. I do wonder what would happen if she passed, but lets face it, we all could pass leaving our husbands to figure out the rest. 

I do admire them for standing for what they believe. My grandmother used to say, If you dont stand for something you will fall for anything. I think thats true for most things.

[naney1952]

When do they possibly have time to enjoy each of them???  

[Nikki_E]

 I agree! (with everyone)  Can the mother name each childs fave food, color, etc....?????