Information

[bumblebby]

At what age does an a child that is not toilet trained become a concern?My ds is 2 years 8 months old and not yet toilet trained. We were trying before and he was melting down and screaming as if he were being tortured. I was at the pediatricians and mentioned it and he said that in his honest opinion my ds was not ready. Since then we have found out that my ds suffers from moderate Autism. He has very little expressive communication.The issue upsets my dh to no end. His ds (my step son) was supposedly trained with no issues when he was 18 months old and supposedly dh was also trained when he was 18 months old with no problems. This is verified by his Mom. **coughcoughyeahrightcoughcough**I feel really pressured to do this and dh says he really wants to go at it after Christmas when he has time off.I guess I can't make excuses for my ds forever. I am torn.

[Queen Mum]

Given the new diagnosis, I'd talk to the doctor (or, if your son is getting special services, talk to someone there) to find out at what age, given the situation, that you can expect your DS to train.

If you try it too soon you'll be banging your head against a brick wall and your son will be miserable and exhausted.     

HUGS

G

[Queen Mum]

By the way, most boys train later rather than sooner.

[Mommybruno]

My son wasn't trained until he was almost 4. You can't force them, it just makes it take longer and turns the whole thing into a miserable war. Xander would occasionally use the potty, but once he was ready he never looked back.My godson was 4 years old when he trained, and only then because my aunt told him he wouldn't be able to go to school until he was potty trained.There are only a few areas in which children hold all the control, IMO - potty training and eating being the main two. Forcing them to do either will only lead to problems down the line.Good luck!!

[corriekate]

IMO...Boys are much harder to train than girls.  I do daycare in my home...right now I am potty training a fresh 2yo girl and a 3.5 yo boy...My son was VERY HARD to train! almost 4 before he finally got the hang of it...Good for your husband taking the initiative to train him...Glad he was PT so early but I think you need to take cues from your child.  This child is different from the the dss...and your dh...but like I said...JMO

[SBcrazee]

Boys in general train later than girls. Don't push him too hard as it will only set it back further. Just encourage him. It will happen soon. I have friends with boys that were trained when they are in their 3's. Hang in there!!! ugg.....typos!!

[catsx2]

My son is almost 4 and still not completely trained.  He does well for a while then he regresses.  Tell your dh if he pushes too hard it will be that much harder and take that much longer to do it.  I'd wait until he was at least 3. 

[moodyonceamth]

My son was 2yrs 11mos or maybe even closer to 3.   He's 7 now and STILL has accidents at night sometimes.  Why does your dh care?  Does he do the bulk of the diaper-changing?  If not, I'd tell him it's your son's decision about when to go.  Being that he just got this diagnosis, I'd think that would indicate that he may need a bit more time, right?  I mean, communication is a big part of the toilet training process.  Hugs to you, it sounds like this is a stressful issue for you.

[Wendy-Gale]

wont do any good till your son is ready

[Flasher]

My son was 4 when he finally got the hang of it and well past 5 before he finally got it at nightime.  And like Amy said, my son still has accidents and he's 7.Even at 4 my Pediatrician was not concerned in any way.I agree with what Amy said.  Given the recent diagnosis, he may need more time.  He'll get there! 

[relznik6]

3 out of 4 of my kids (2 boys 1 girl) were ready to potty train at 3.  They told me.  I tried with the oldest son with the pull-ups and things....just didn't work - he wasn't ready.  So, with my last 2 I just let them take the lead....no accidents no overnight problems...they were ready to go!Now, my oldest (whom I had at a pretty young age) I tried to potty train at 18 months - that's when my mom said I was!  Hmmmmmm  lets just look at the word "trained"......okay, yup.....  mom was "trained" to make sure and take me to the potty where I (and later I did this to my oldest) would sit for 15 mins after each drink, nap, meal and before bed.......  Yep.....she was "trained" all right! 

[lizziej]

One of my nieces and one of my nephews were each fully trained at 3.5 and 4, respectively.  They just weren't ready either, and, thank God, they are both healthy, very intelligent children.  Boys tend to be fully trained later than girls.  I was very fortunate in that my DS was fully trained by age 2.5. It is NOT good to force children to potty train.  We had a lawsuit once where a child was forced, and he ended up having so many problems with his colon. My SIL told me last weekend that my brother's best friend's boys (ages 8 and 6) are autistic and still not fully potty trained. 

[Renee]

Don't stress!! He will do it when he's good and ready...and that's a fact. In my experience the more that I would push the more he would resist. There's nothing wrong with putting it out there for him and getting introduced to it.I swear the only thing the pushed Alex to being fully trained was the UTI he had about 2 months ago.

[Midge]

Every child is different, my friend's son was PT'd at 18 months, my nephew is still in pull-ups and will be 5 in February.

[evilqueen]

Quincie was 3 1/2 years old when she was potty trained.  We were going to DisneyWorld in the fall and I told her she can not go on any of the rides with diapers on.  Within a week she was completely trained and had a fit if she wet herself.  I think she only had three accidents.

[rebajane]

Remind your dh that each child is different...My dd was way early she loved to sit on her potty and pretend to read books....ds could have cared less about it...and was around 1 1/2 to 2...I didnt think it was a big deal...It was nice saving money on diapers. Our family doc always says when they are ready you will know just keep playing with it. If he is already anxious over it I would wait. If you have a potty chair bring it out in the living room and see if he will just sit on it to read or something. If its around where he plays he will become used to it. Let his stuffed animals go potty. Boys are more difficult than girls to train (JMO )...they seem to come with a fear of potties Hope this helps.

[baltoscrapper]

MAson wasn't completely trained until he was 3.5 yrs old. We tried earlier and it was just a battle that we didn't want to fight.  And the Ped promised me that by the time he was in kindergarden, he would definately not be in diapers (I think he was being sarcastic!)  All of a sudden, out of nowhere, he said he was ready to start and hasn't looked back.  I do think your dh needs to show more patience given the recent diagnosis and as Amy stated, communication is essential to training.  He will come around in his own time and at 2 yrs 8 months it would be my last concern.  What's a few more months (or years) with diapers when it means your house is happy and stress free? (my son also acted like he was being tortured when I tried to force the training issue, it was not a happy time for either of us!)

[katarria]

I have no children and therefore am not the best to give you advice, but I would suggest researching a bit online and seeing if you can get any information as to how the recent diagnosis will affect various parts of your ds's life (like potty training).  If your ped. isn't worried and thinks your son isn't ready then I would respect that opinion as well.Either way - good luck with things!!

[clairbug]

My child is almost 4 and he has no interest in the potty. Well, he knows what to do and when to do it.....but because I want him to go he isn't going. I've changed 3 poopy diapers today. Not fun at all.

[scrappinchic]

When we were kids we were all trained much faster because we were wearing cloth diapers with plastic pants.  Yuck!  Todays diapers pull away the wetness so well that kids don't feel any sense of urgency to train. Both of my children were trained by two, but they had to be because that's when I started them in preschool.  You have to do what's best for your son and now you have the new diagnosis to consider. Laura