ACOT Message Board

 On Thanksgiving Day, my eldest son is bringing out his new gf.  No one knows yet if her 2 kids will be here or downstate with Dad. I find this rattles me more than in past years. This ds's girlfriend just dumped him in September and for a while there he was so despondent I was seriously afraid he'd kill himself. I knew the ex for 2 years and loved her dearly - and still can't believe she was so rude and uncaring in how she broke up with my ds.  I'll be very happy to meet the new gf and people tell me they're wonderful together - no fighting, no sharp words. I just want so much for him to be happy again and I hope the new gf isn't worried about me butting in their relationship. Hopefully Thanksgiving will have us both breathing in deep sighs of relief. I really, really want to like and enjoy her for the person she is.

 dont be nervous.  Just be your normal nice self and I'm sure things will work out fine. 

yes, just relax!  your son will be nervous enough about how you accept her, so do your best to be your usual sweet self and accept her into your home.  treat her as family, and make everything as easy as possible for your son's benefit.  the most important thing is your son's happiness    enjoy that!  

 I'm sure things will work out well.

 I hope your meeting went well... My son dumped his girlfriend in August and I just dread him finding a new one... The last one was so mean to him. I didn't like her, but I always pretended I did, but I could see right through her....

 WANTED:   a nice girl to marry my son.  He is 36 (almost 37), has been in three serious relationships, never married, has a good job with benefits...is balding so shaves his head and has a wicked funny sense of humor! 

Count your blessings...I'd love for my son to call and say, Mom, I want to bring someone over to meet the folks...!

 My son's girlfriend lives in PA, we live in CT.  My son is 23, and he still lives at home (he is writing the next great novel).  This young lady and my dear son want her to come and stay for Christmas - at our home.  I have offered to put her up in a motel and have her over for the holidays.  Has anyone else had a similar experience?  My son says - Mom - we are both adults - we can sleep in my room.  I say - no - she can stay in your room, you can stay on the couch - or vice versa - or she can stay at a motel and you can visit her.  I am uncomfortable... any suggestions, opinions or advice?  BTW - I hope your Thanksgiving went wonderfully!!!

 When our dd stayed with us at our time share at the beach, she brought down her 'true love'!  I told her we would rent a cot for him and I expected them to honor us.  They did.  Now he is my favorite (and only as he reminds me) son in law. 

Move your son to the couch; give her his room and make your restrictions clear.  Until they move out and can support themselves, you are still the MOM!

I would not make her stay in a hotel...at the holidays?  How lonely!  Make her feel so much a part of the family that dishonoring your rules would make her feel too badly!

 Hope your meeting went well.

 How did it go?

Well did you have a good first meeting? Do you like her? 

 Enquiring minds want to know ..... how did it go?

JulesinParadise wrote: When our dd stayed with us at our time share at the beach, she brought down her 'true love'!  I told her we would rent a cot for him and I expected them to honor us.  They did.  Now he is my favorite (and only as he reminds me) son in law. 

Move your son to the couch; give her his room and make your restrictions clear.  Until they move out and can support themselves, you are still the MOM!

I would not make her stay in a hotel...at the holidays?  How lonely!  Make her feel so much a part of the family that dishonoring your rules would make her feel too badly!

I agree with Jules...  Having been the girlfriend (many years ago) traveling to a neighboring town and staying overnight with bf's (now dh's) family, I would have felt incredibly unwelcome if I was sent to stay at a hotel.  And, in fact, that might just encourage your son to not stay at the house, either, and to instead stay at the hotel with her...  I like Jules's proposal of giving her the room and having ds stay on the couch.  This gives her a private space, since she's not yet "family" and probably not totally relaxed around everyone.