ACOT Message Board

It's no secret that Sus and I LOVE to laugh... so bring us a joke or a funny to crack us up (just keep it MOSTLY clean, please!)

A sprinkling of points to:

Mommybruno
Henu_Nea
mandee
cat1393

Thanks for the funnies!!

My puppy is so busy looking around and being silly on our walks she walks into mailboxes and street signs. I thought I was ditzsy!

when i was walking our dog. she was about 6 months at the time. she picked up an old cig butt. and was just holding it in her mouth. We were standing at the Stop sign....couldn't figure out why people were staring and smiling at her! She finally looked up and there it was....hanging out of her mouth!

I'm a huge fan of Chuck Norris jokes...

Elijanna is in the process of potty training. I have been using those pull ups that turn cold if you pee in them. They have the disney princessess on them. Well this morning she was watching Dora and Dora was saying hola in spanish means hello. She is only wearing pull ups at night and nap time now. She woke up this morning and was taking her pull up off and putting on underwear while watching Dora. She looks at me so serious and says "Mom Princessess is Spanish for cold pullups. lol

This is my my 8 year old son


Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?



It ran out of juice!

A Scrapbooker's Eulogy Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep but if I should die before I wake, please Lord, let them scrap my funeral great!

So I was going to put fresh sheets on the bed. My dh, being so helpful went and got the sheets and started the process for me. When I came into the room I saw the sheets and said, "Oh honey don't use those sheets they have a big hole on the fitted sheet (from the dryer). He said, well are you going to buy some new ones. I said, yes, but I want to see what I can get at Tuesday Morning. He said, Why do you have to wait until Tuesday morning? This really made me giggle at his lack of knowledge of shopping places.

I'm a blonde so I get these emailed to me a lot:


One day this cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.
"You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it."

Ashjoy wrote:A Scrapbooker's Eulogy Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep but if I should die before I wake, please Lord, let them scrap my funeral great!

OMG! I love it!

An old professor poses the following problem to one of
his classes:


“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go
to his daughter, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his
brother, and the rest to his wife. Now, what does each get?”



After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Pauly raises his
hand and says, “A lawyer?”

Once, while "gettin' busy" in a tractor-trailer, some of Chuck Norris' "little men" escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

I am trying upload a photo called Walmart Greeter. It is pretty funny. But I can't figure it out. Darn it!!

How does a skunk call home?
On his smell-ular phone.

My grandaughter told me this one lol

My 2 year old daughter can't quite say Phillies, so it comes out "Pheces". One day my husband was wearing his Phillies shirt and she said, "Pheces sheet!" (say that out loud a few times) She can't quite say shirt either


I thought a Red Sox fan might like that!

Me and my hubby had our 1 month wedding aniversary yesterday and my sis arranged a belated wedding party for us and some friends. It had all the trimmings including a FOUR tiered wedding cake! ...and then there where the speaches... Won't bore you BUT one of the speakers told us this joke:


"What's the punishment for commiting bigami?"



"....having two wifes!!"