ACOT Message Board

** PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don't let this turn into a different debate. My question IS NOT ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE. **

Anyone else see the street reporter on CNN today at noon?

The street reporter was getting the opinion of random citizens about the following situation: John McCain is AGAINST gay marriage. Recently, his wife Cindy took part in an ad campaign SUPPORTING gay marriage - a direct contradiction of her husband's position.

There were some "people on the street" who said that when you get married, you are one, and as one, you should have one opinion - the same opinion. Some also were of the notion that she should be backing her husband and supporting his position.

So, I'm just curious. Do you believe that just because you are married you are supposed to agree and never have opposing ideas or opinions?

I personally DO NOT. I've been married for 20 years and I can assure my hubby and I agree on very little in the political arena. And, if you do believe that married couples should have the same opinions, how do you decide whose opinion is the more important of the two?

I think it's an awful notion to think that getting married causes you to not have your own opinion.

Of course not, my husband share many different opinions about a variety of things. We aren't the same person grrr lol. People think poloiticians wives should only believe in what their husbands say on the campaign trail and that is very lame.

I agree, it is ridiculous to think that husbands and wives will have the same opinion, but he is a politician and very much in the public eye, and I think that as a politician's wife (or husband) you sort of implicitly agree to certain things - like how you behave in the public eye and stuff. It just seems like her speaking out like this could be VERY to his career, not to mention at home, man that could be unpleasant.

I do not think you should both have the same opinion.

We have this discussion with our mother all the time. She picks her presidential candidate based on her husband. She says she doesn't but if you ask her any of the candidates viewpoints she can't tell you.

My sister even tricked her and said "what is Mr. ABC's opinion on blah" and my Mom got it wrong! It was hysterical.

My husband and I have very different views of the world.....we have been married 18 years this April. I will not and would not change my opinion for my dh or his career, but with that said....I would not speak out publicly against him either. I can have my own opinions and act on them in ways that that would not conflict with him so publicly and I wonder what her reasoning was....especially knowing what a hot controversial topic this is.

HA! Hahahaha! Heh. No flipping way. One opinion would never fly in this household!

Dh and I mostly share the same opinions, but when we don't, it isn't a big deal.




I think that it might get a little dicey when you have children, but there are great topics to discuss as they get older and they are able to see both sides of an issue and they aren't picking "sides".



I think Cindy McCain is supporting her daughter and trying to remain the family peacemaker and as hard as she may try to remain neutral in support, the media will call her on it every time.

My first husband (23 years ago) was of the opinion that once you were married you should be of like mind. He felt the Bible said as much. That's one of the reasons we're no longer married. That and the fact that and despite that other Biblical rule about fidelity he couldn't keep his zipper zipped...

My forever husband and I rarely agree on anything. That's what keeps us interesting. We agree on the things that matter most and the rest is up for debate. It drives his parents crazy - which is also half the fun of it all.

I admire Cindy McCain for the stances she takes in politics. I always have and I think anyone who has followed the two of them know how much John loves her. Their marriage isn't going to be weakened by her contradictory opinions and the "party" shouldn't be either. In fact, the GOP should learn from the two of them.

Yes, only 1 opinion should be allowed per household.


































































MINE!

Oh yeah - My dh & I usually cancel each other out on election day.

Nope - I don't feel like just because you are married you have to share the same opinion. Sometimes agreeing to disagree is simplest. For the most part, dh and I agree on issues, but there are the occasional ones where we don't.

If it ever came to marriage = 1 opinion, the opinion we would be using would be mine....

No way! Come on, it's 2010 for crying out loud!! Of course you can have different opinions in a marriage! ...and by the way, why couldn't McCain be a bit more levelheaded and listen to his wife???

I think when you get married you should try and have the same goals but there is no way you could always have the same opinions or ways of doing things.

ROFL! No I don´t think you have to be agreeing your with DH/DW, it is nice when it happens but not a must. I do believe that you should respect the others opinion, but you don´t have to agree

Oh no! No way...I think that would make for a very BORING marriage, if we always agreed. Heck, what would I make fun of him about?


I have a ton of respect for Cindy McCain, and her opinions. She has lived an amazing life and there's definitely value placed on all of those experiences she has lived through her charity work. And I agree with M'Lee, that John will love her anyway. She has every right to voice her opinion, whether she's married to a politician or not. I DO wish the media wouldn't make such a huge deal of their differences of opinion though, because it's not her that is the elected official, and therefore her opinion won't really have any effect on the rest of us.

I've been happily married for 35 years, but my husband and I don't always share the same opinion. I don't think being married means that we have to agree on everything.

No, definitely not. I don't think you should be fighting over different opinions all the time, but a person remains a person even after marriage. It is a ridiculous notion to think you automatically stop having your own ideas & opinions.

No, of course married people don't have to share the same opinion on any subject, although life is a little easier if you at least agree on some stuff. But I believe if you are married to a politician you should show some discretion on what you publicly support, in order to be supportive of their career and to help further it. I think it's important in a marriage to love and support one another. Perhaps these two have agreed that having opposite public opinions on a subject is ok for them, that's great and the news media shouldn't get involved in that. In fact the national news media might want to start reporting on actual news instead of acting like large scale gossip columnists.

I agree with most everyone else. Marriage should not mean you have to agree on everything! I like what Laura said, how boring would that be.

I completely disagree that being married means you have to support each others' opinions. You just have to support each other. It is perfectly fine to have your own opinions. You can disagree and still love the person. My Grandma and Grandpa were married for 72 years, until they both passed, and she was a Democrat and he was a Republican! They even had a joke about cancelling out each other's vote. You do need to have agreement to disagree and/or support each other in the important things, like parenting, finances, etc. As far as politics, I think if you don't agree, it makes things interesting and it's not something to base your marriage on, either.