ACOT Message Board

I am so stinking tired of nagging the kids to do this and that.  They have too much stuff and they don't take care of it.  I just found my son's XBox games, on the floor, being walked on.  Those puppies were $50 a piece.  We have the Christmas tree up, but no other decorations up because they will NOT pick up after themselves.  I warned them that if the front room wasn't cleared of toys by 4pm, there would be no other decorations put up this year.  I gave them an extra 15 minutes because I knew they weren't done.  When I walked out to check on their progress, they were watching TV while toys were on the floor.  So no more Christmas decorations this year.  They've had since Thanksgiving to clean up the front room and they haven't done it.  Am I expecting too much?  It only needs to be clean for a few minutes so I can drag out the boxes of decorations!  LOL! I am seriously considering take a bunch of presents back.  I think we've done a real disservice to the kids by giving them so much.  They don't appreciate what they do have.  Yet at the same time, I don't want to use Christmas as a punishment. Ugh ugh ugh.

hold your ground or they will never learn

I second the holding your ground....

I third it!  I think if they have so much stuff they can't keep it picked up or it isn't important enough to put away properly, maybe those things need to disappear for awhile...Just a thought.  They might appreciate the stuff more if it is taken away and they only get it back by keeping things cleaned up.

I get a trash bag out and threating Quinice that I am going to throw away the toys.  It usually works but she needs my help.  Of course, I do most of the work because, I don't like how she puts her toys away under the bed. 

Can I "third" it? Mean what you say. Turn off the TV and there is no more that night since they disregarded your instruction. Obviously, they don't think they have to listen to you...(What do you think Supernanny would say?)Maybe you have the answer ...you have given them too much. Give some of the stuff to charity and let them know you are doing it and why.Christina

I agree...I know it has got to be hard...but they'll appreciate their toys and stuff when they're not available to them whenever they want them. Maybe you could make them earn back some of their things by doing chores around the house.

my dd refuses to pick up her room and her toys are constantly laying around and getting stepped on. A few months ago I went through with a large box and tossed everything I wanted to clear out of there. So many little toys that never got played with, just dumped out in order to get to everything else.  So many stuffed animals accumulated over the years, and then just the toys that I am tired of seeing around.  I am so much happier now that most of the clutter is out of the way. As for the living room, I have never let the kids dump their stuff in any room of the house other than their own. Create zones for particular activities. board games are on the kitchen table and then put away. Video games can be stored in a box or case near the tv, any left on the floor get taken away for the month (example). any personal toys are played with in their ROOMS, not the living room. it works for my family and I hardly ever have to fuss with cleaning up after the kids, at least in the rest of the house. their rooms can be as messy as they want and when it comes time to have friends over or they whine that they can't play in their room cause it's too messy I just give them that look...  and they know the answer. muahahahaha

I have cleared out their room sooo many times.  Big trash bags full that either go in the trash or passed on to others.  I once cleared out *everything* from my son's room.  All he had was the bed and the fish (couldn't move that!  LOL!).  It really doesn't seem to phase them. And to be honest, we are not the culprits when it comes to overbuying.  It's the grandparents.  We beg and plead with them to not give so much, but they still do.  We live in a small house and I refuse to move because of excess toys.  We've resorted to stashing extra presents in the garage and rotating, but the toys have overtaken the garage.  The whole situation is just ridiculous.  I know...what a tough problem to have!  LOL!  Too much stuff.  I was so frustrated with them tonight though that I lost my patience and then my temper and started yelling at them.  Then I put myself in a time out. 

yellscreamand put  THEM in time out

and put  THEM in time out
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Trust me!  I did!  LOL!  They are not happy campers right now.  We are supposed to get snow tomorrow and I've already taken playing in the snow away.

how old are they?Tell gramps and nanny if they want a couple of kids they should keep spoiling them lol

Don't know what to tell you on this one....one of my dogs is trained to clean up her toys though.    She of course does not to do it voluntarily, but she has a command for it and she does it (if she knows I have a treat in my hand).

speaking from experience hold your ground or they will never be responsible....of course...if i had to nag them more than 2x in 2 days the tv would have the dish card taken out of it for a week lol...i did learnif no one is willing to help me then they go to their rooms...last time i sent the dss to his room he was 19 lol they are never too old.last march he was being a total little jerk to me and was being so disrespectful and wouldn't help do anything that i packed up the snowmobile that i had bought for him, put it on a trailer and took it over to my sisters house and gave it to her kids for the $35 to transfer the title.   expensive lesson, but it was a good one. he doesn't talk back anymore and stopped being a jerk lol.  too bad too cuz i'm sure he'd love to ride around on the snow right now lol. it almost killed me but he needed to know i had had enough and i meant business.

The oldest is 7 and the little guy will be 3 in a few weeks.I obviously expect more from the 7 year old than the 3 year old.  Seriously, all they had to do was take the toys back in the room.  That was all.  If they would just freakin' do it, it wouldn't take more than 5 minutes.  We've tried the timer game, rewards, punishments, charts, and nothing seems to work. I stripped the oldest's room when he was 5.  I posted about it on 2peas.  Someone suggested that I seek professional help for him since he didn't want to clean his room.   Yes, he's being a PITA but he's also being a 5 year old.  Heck, I'm 30+ years old and I don't want to clean my room either. 

I ask my dd all the time to pick up her stuff. She'll have things out everywhere. She always tells me she is playing with it. She is very talented playing in several rooms at one time. I'm just gonna do it myself and then she can wonder where it all went.

agreed, my dd is 5 and she's the one who won't clean. My 9 y/o's room is perfect, she takes after me with her organizational skillz. haha  Seeing as the kid is 5, I let her keep her room a mess to some extent figuring she too will grow out of her clutter phase.

I'm a slave driver. My 3 year old and 5 year old have had to clean up their toys once they could walk. If a toy starts getting thrown around too often ( even if they clean it up later ) I stick it in the crawlspace. They get their old toys back on Christmas Day and get to start over again.It's not as evil as it sounds. The kids still have plenty to play with and have better respect for their toys ( and their mother ) but since I started it at such a really young age, it hasn't been an issue ( YET ).

I am trying to figure out what to do with the grandsons 3 & 5; but it is hard.  They both have Autistic disorders and have no way to figure out if they even can process the info.  I'm home with them all the time and mon & dad only in the evenings, so they have two sets of rules and I'm the bad guy..  Anyone have advice about that one?

Speaking out of experience, since my son is autistic as well, but high functioning it really depends on their level of autism.  Can you tell me how severe their autism is?