ACOT Message Board

Hi Ladies!  I have been rather out of touch lately - not visiting the board much.  Between going back to work, dealing with my mother's health problems (in addition to my step-fathers' issues), getting settled in, life in general, etc......I just haven't had time for much of anything.  But - I have a real concern and I thought that some of you might be able to give some advice/insight/suggestions.....

Basically - I am at a loss.  For years, I have been told by teachers and doctors that my younger son (15 and in 10th grade) does not have ADD/ADHD. Instead, they said his problems with focus, self-discipline, organization, concentration, etc were due to him being very young for his grade level. Of course, these teachers were all in our overseas schools, so maybe they just weren't as familiar with the issues. 

While there has been improvement every year, these basic "skills" just haven't developed. He is easily distracted, makes lots of silly/careless mistakes on tests, insists on frequent "breaks" from doing homework, is constantly losing things, and is always in some sort of panic (usually about 9:45 on a Sunday) because of things that are due on
Monday that he hasn't done. He can't manage to keep track of his assignments (I have purchased every type and variety of planner under the sun to try to find something that he will use), so he is usually panicking and trying to
finish major projects in1-2 nights....instead of the 2 weeks the teacher intended.  In spite of all this...he has always managed to make good grades (As and Bs.....with an occasional C thrown in), but now that he is in high school (and some pre-AP classes) it is really starting to be a problem.

I have 2 appts set up this coming week with psychiatrists.  I want to see how/if their evaluations and recommendations differ.  I also want to see which one he "clicks" with in case we need to do some ongoing counseling.  I am not happy about putting him in meds, but if that is what is needed - I'll do it.

So -I'm asking for input from those of you familiar with ADHD kids.  What about the drugs that are often prescribed?  Do they really work?  What about teaching coping strategies along with the meds?  Is this something a psychiatrist would do?  Or do I need to seek out someone else?

Any help, suggestions, advice, (or sympathy!) would be most appreciated!!!!  

 If nothing clicks with the two shrinks that you have appointments with, I would suggest taking him to the Baylor College of Medicine over in the Houston Medical Center.  In general, teaching universities have all kinds of studies going on and all kinds of expertise.  I'm sure they have a top notch pediatric branch.  I had very good luck taking my mother to UTMB at Galveston's geriatric clinic for her Alzheimer's.  (Where I am located it is easier to get to Galveston than the medical center which is the only reason why I did not go to Baylor's geriatric clinic.)

 Ann - that is a really good idea!   I've often said that he would make a VERY intersting case study (he's just a fun, weird, interesting, never-boring kid!).   I think I may check them out just to see if they have any studies going on in this area.  Thanks!

 My little sister has ADHD and is a junior. She has had this for as long as I can remember. She has been on meds a long time too. It takes a few tries to find the right med that works, but when it does you'll know. We can tell when my sister hasn't taken her meds, she is off the walls and her concentration is shot. They really do help. Especially if he's willing to work with them and talk to someone about it.
I have always been against medicating, it just doesn't seem natural to me. I'm taking some meds too for my PTSD and they really do help. If I don't take them I'm a total mess.
Good luck!

 Big {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you guys!  I hope he finds a doc he clicks with and that will help you find a good solution. 

 Every kiddo is different so my advice is to ask lots of questions and if you don't get the answers or the help you need keep trying until you find the right Dr. and treatment.  Good luck and take care!

Thanks for the replies!   I took off work on Thursday to try to figure all this out.  I spent a lot of time doing research on docs in our area - figuring I wanted an MD in order to get the meds (if needed), so I didn't want to make an appt with a counselor/psychologist and THEN have to go to another doctor.   We can't really afford to tip-toe into this.  We need to just go ahead and jump off the high dive!

On paper (well, on the internet), I like the 2 docs I have appts with.  One is a new psychiatrist (about 2 years out of school), but was a teacher for many years before going to med school.  The other is more experienced and has his whole practice set up to deal with kids and educational issues (no adults).  So, I think between the two - we will be able to work something out.  And they are both just down the street from me....so that's a BIG plus!

KBeachy - I'm glad the meds work for your sister.  I am hoping we can find an answer.  He is such a great kid - lots of fun - but he gets SOOO frustrated with things.  He is immature in a lot of ways (silly "class clown" type behavior) and has yet to really hit puberty.....but he's getting there!   The thing that kills me is that he thinks the problems he has are because he's DUMB!  He is FAR from dumb (over 130 on IQ tests!)!  I just want him to know what it FEELS like to be successful.  I think he'll like it!

 Good luck and let us know how things work out. I'll be thinking about you and your son.

 If you have a teaching hospital nearby then the pediatric pyschiatrists are usually Fellows and that means they do counseling as well as med management if needed. We have been doing that here with my son for the last 3 years. If you go that route though ask for a new Fellow (they are pyschiatrists that are specialzing in children) and they have 2 years left in their program. That way you will have the same doctor for 2 years otherwise you will be changing constantly. My son is 15 and has adhd and other things as well going on. He was medicated,( I have never done stimulants) and now he is unmedicated and doing ok. Good Luck!

 gonecamping - what kind of meds was your son on?  I thought they were all stimulents.  And how did he make the transition from meds to no meds?  That is one of my concerns.  I don't really want my son on meds all his life (altho I know some men who are).  I want him to be able to "learn" how to manage things on his own, but I realize he can't learn how to do it unless he experieces it.  And right now, he isn't!   Does that make sense????

No advice, but just sending your hugs and prayers for answers and guidance!

Have you asked his current guidance counselor about testing at his current school?  At the school where I work, parents can request that all of a student's teachers complete a confidential observation of the student.  Basically it will ask questions related to how often behaviors such as zoning out, procrastinating, losing focus, asking questions, taking breaks, etc. occur in a normal hour, day, week of school. 

The counselors collect all of the teachers' observation forms back and then put together a student profile.  It is a way to determine students' exceptionalities and it may be something that could help.

 katarria - we are new to this school and he is in a wide variety of classes with a mix of kids.  The only "10th" grade class he has is English - otherwise he is mixed in with freshmen and juniors.  I'm not sure his teachers know him well enough to make any real comments.  Plus - I think the problem is more at home than at school - except for the careless errors on tests and forgetting to turn in homework.  I like the counselor that is assigned to my boys - but she deals with about 150 kids and she has only had 1 "interaction" with my son, so I'm not really sure I want to go to her.

 I can't offer any advice cause there are alot of new meds since my son was dx'd with ADHD.  But they were wrong anyway he is Bi-Polar.

But I wanted to send you some (((HUGS))) I know what it is like to deal with trying to find out what is wrong.  Both of my DGS are Autisic.

 

This sounds like you are describing my youngest son.  For the whole of his school life we stressed constantly and tried everything. Now he is 24 yrs old working full time in a government department, and was here with his partner to break the good news that their ultrasound this morning showed they are expecting a baby girl. He is never going to be the most organised person in the world. But then I am a little overly organised and don't function well with "last minute" etc..  in this respect we are very different. But he is happy, healthy, funny, very loving and an honest hard working young man.  I am very proud of him.  So there is always hope - don't despair. Sometimes it is just a matter of time & maturity.

Kathy

 Sounds like you are describing someone I know. The mom found a tutor who was able to help w/ the orgainzing and getting the homework help he needed. THE only problem, we had a falling out and no contact anymore.

 I'm just going to throw this out there as something for you to think about.

Based on what you've told us here, it sounds like you have a gifted kid. Did any of his schools ever tell you that? He's well above average in IQ (over 130 rates Very Superior Intelligence) and grade level.

A lot of what you've described can be attributed to him being gifted, and not necessarily ADD. Here's some articles for you to look at:

Why Gifted Children have homework problems and what you can do about them

Social and Emotional problems among Gifted Children

General all about Gifted Kids site: http://giftedkids.about.com/

I have a gifted kid. She is definitely a challenge, (especially regarding emotions and homework). We've been through all of what you've described with her too. We took her to a psychiatrist thinking it was ADD. (It wasn't.) It's just the challenge of her having an intellect far advanced than her chronological age, and an emotional age younger than her chronological age. (Asynchronous development) which is common in gifted kids. Because they can carry on complex adult conversations, it's easy to expect them to act emotionally on the same level. I'm definitely guilty of that with my kid. It was always hard to remember she's only (whatever) age, and then on top of that, that she's actually behind that age in emotional development.

Now I'm not saying he doesn't have ADD, just that if you don't get the answer you sound like you're looking for-you may want to look into the above information. Or even ask the psychiatrist about it when you see him/her.

In either case I hope you find some answers.

 Tracy - that is something to think about.

One of the reasons I chose the doc with the practice that focuses of educational/learning issues is because he offers a wide range of testing options.  I know it will cost a fortune, but I want him run thru a full battery of tests - just to make sure we are going to be treating/addressing the RIGHT issue.

He is so bright, but I just feel there is some sort of "disconnect" that is keeping him from achieving to his full potential.  For example - it been a few years, but the last IOWA test he took was in 5th grade.  In the math section, he scored 95% on both the  Concepts & Evaluation and Problem Solving & Data Interpretation secions.  BUT - he scored a 19% on the Computation part!  Now, how in the blazes can he score so high on the first 2 sections, but bomb the computation part?  Something just doesn't "jive" there.

Our first appointment is tonight- so we'll see............

 Well, I just spent 15 minutes typing a reply to you about meds..grrr..lost it. In a nut shell, Straterra is a drug widely used for adhd/add and its not a stimulant. More along the lines of anti-depressant. That worked well and then just stopped working for my son. He is on a 504 instead of an IEP and some of his accomodations with the teachers deal with the adhd problems he has (he also has aspergers). They don't hold it against him for late work, give him copies of notes and really communicate with me when he has assignments that are due. They also let me know 2 weeks in advance about any big projects so he has extra time to get them completed. The transition from meds to no meds has gone well I think in part because he is in a class designed for kids who have issues with attention/acting out for all of his core classes. He takes electives in the main high school but this other class is a smaller setting with more adult help. That has helped ALOT!

Tracy has some good ideas too about the possibility of him being a gifted child. Good luck with you appointment.

 My son had some learning issues.   HE was above average in IQ - but school was a disaster for him.


One was audio- memory problems.    HE'd hear it but it would just literally go in one ear and out the other.



ONe thing that helped was getting assignments directly from the teachers.  In elementary and jr high I was able to get an extra set of books from the school to keep at home (Therefore, "I forgot my book!" was useless) 

Got them to give me the assignments and due dates.

However, we still had the issue of putting the assignments into his backpack and having them disappear before he arrived at class............