ACOT Message Board

 dh has been waiting to hear about this new job since before Christmas.  coincidentally someone he worked with before (they both got let go the same day) started a job at the same place on the 5th and they would be working together again.  We are friends and on occassion do non work related activities.

when the other person interviewed the got offered the job the same day.  dh did not- this made him sad -
Wednesday afternoon the 'friend' called and told dh 'you've got the job i just talked to xxxxx and he is calling you tonight and u are our pick' ---
no phone call

dh calls 'friend' and says didn't get phone call -
friend says 'oh well big boss wants to think about it and they are going out of town tomorrow so you will probably here tomorrow night' which was Thursday....no call

dh calls 'friend' no call - oh, well they ran into lots of snow so they aren't even back yet

no call

Here are some other factors that happened: 
friend told dh he didn't get picked immediately because big boss didn't like two things:
1 - you didn't wear a white shirt (he wore very dress newer dark grey suit with a matching grey shirt and tie - i bought entire outfit at one time and it was on a model.

#2 - your size (dh is big 6"4 ish over 300 lbs)  worried about customer contact - customers love dh and called him after he got axed to say how sad they were and how much they will miss him.  One couple actually took us to an expensive NYE private party....Friend explained that it was exactly the opposite and customers love dh and think he is a gentle giant (so to speak)

On Wednesday the friend also called a mutual friend and said "Pat got the job" so dh gets a phone call and other friend says "congratulations I heard you got the job"

In my opinion,,,,,,this conversation/situation should have never occurred - and I am absolutely livid about the size thing. 

I can't get rid of this anger, and dh is so sad and depressed he went to bed at 8:30 tonight.  He is sleeping later and later in the day...and I just can tell his heart is broken.  I feel responsible for the white shirt thing because he wanted to wear a pinstripe suit with a white shirt.  I felt that suit made him look bigger and talked him into the grey one.

Am I over reacting?  dh says friend was just excited and didn't do anything wrong.

(ps:  please excuse the spelling errors - i'm getting to tired to think)

 I see why DH would htink it was not wrong but in retrospect it would seem it cause a lot of angst and heart ache. I am hopeful the friend meant well but they should have kept it to themselves. If they are really good friends, the weight thing was ok BUT at a later date, in a differend way. I am so sorry. Lets hope the call comes...

 People should learn to keep their big mouths shut-even when they are friends-because all too often something like this happens! I bet the friend feels AWFUL too.
 I am so sorry your husband is upset, I would be really upset too. Especially if my body is what turned them off. It's so much more of a personal rejection. And stupid friend shouldn't have said anything about that either! Just maybe that he is sorry that he said anything and that it hadn't worked out and he wished it had.
 Hugs!

 Hopefully the beginning of the week will bring the call. Where I work, they post jobs and then take forever to interview. Then after they do, they take forever to actually make the hiring call, sometimes checking references takes awhile.
I agree the friend was probably excited & that's why he told him. Good luck to him- hope he's feeling better soon!

 (((HUGS)))) Hope he get's the job!!

 Diana is absolutely right about your friend keeping his mouth shut!  {{{{{hugs}}}}}  I hope dh does get that call first thing in the morning.  The color of his shirt and the fact that he is a tall guy shouldf not distract an employer from hiring him, that is plain dumb! 

 I'm sure the friend thought he was doing the right thing, but he should have stayed out of it.

 I'm sure the friend was just really excited and just wanted to tell your husband. My company is the same way, they drag their feet when hiring. Hopefully he will hear something in the morning. ((HUGS))

 Oh no, I'm sorry he's feeling so terrible! I hope the call comes soon. It sounds like the friend has good intentions and may have a problem with being a little too honest. Hopefully, he will play your husband's advocate and talk to the big boss into giving him the job if he's still on the fence. Good luck! ((HUGS))

 I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your dh gets the job! 

 I think his friend was wrong.  It sounds like his friend is power hungry because he already has the job and feels superior giving out inside info.  Shame on him.....

 To me, I wouldn't have gotten in the middle of your DH job, if I was the friend that got the job already.  I would just just say, I'd rather not get into it and just have your DH call HR to find out what's going on with the job.  Cause to me - it sounds like "friend" feels guilty he got the job and your DH didn't and maybe trying to let your DH feel better by maybe leading him on about him getting the job.  I don't know but if I was the friend I wouldn't have gotten into it at all. Ya know . . . Tell your husband that job would have sucked and find a better company that's worth having a loveable customer oriented giant.  That remark they made about the white shirt thing and him being so tall.  BS . .  .  that shouldn't have even been a factor . . those are cop outs for saying he's over qualified and we would have to pay him more than we are willing too.  I wouldn't want to work for a company after finding that out.  Would he?

 So sorry to hear about this.
Keep positive thoughts and good things should come his way.
Good luck!

 not getting hired because of weight is DISCRIMINATION!!!! I dare them to put that down as a reason!  Sounds like this friend isnt such a honorable friend. Sounds like he is good at talking-smooth talker, but once they get a whiff of the pile of bile this so called friend dishes, Im sure your husband can fill his slot in no time. From the sound of it, this so called friend is basking in the glory of being chosen and is trying to rub salt in the wound.  Beware of false friends...sounds like hubby has  been taken advantage of. I wouldnt put alot of stock into what this so called friend claims. get right to the source and get facts that are accurate. I bet this friend has just assumed all these things and is repeating things that werent even said... Hang in there...

 not getting hired because of weight is DISCRIMINATION!!!! I dare them to put that down as a reason!  Sounds like this friend isnt such a honorable friend. Sounds like he is good at talking-smooth talker, but once they get a whiff of the pile of bile this so called friend dishes, Im sure your husband can fill his slot in no time. From the sound of it, this so called friend is basking in the glory of being chosen and is trying to rub salt in the wound.  Beware of false friends...sounds like hubby has  been taken advantage of. I wouldnt put alot of stock into what this so called friend claims. get right to the source and get facts that are accurate. I bet this friend has just assumed all these things and is repeating things that werent even said... Hang in there...

 Poor guy!

 what a jerk. doesn't sound like a friend to me....

 thanks everyone!  I feel so much better since I posted this -

I agree - he should have kept his mouth shut -

Being not chosen for your size is absolutely wrong - but I have felt like that happens for about the last 20 years -

I keep telling him everything happens for a reason and I am going to try really hard to not mention the friend again - and just keep praying that we get an answer soon.

Thanks for all of your thoughts!

 I hope your dh gets that call tomorrow to tell him when to start!

 Hope your dh gets a job soon. I can't believe the company would say something about his suit and his appearance.