ACOT Message Board

 Hi all!
I know I don't post much but I just need to get this out of my system and see if it's "just me" being neurotic.
I posted sometime ago about a friendship turning really sour.  I've been fine for a few weeks now.  And then something came up and it's been really bothering me.  This friend I had, had a fundraiser crop for her son....long story.....any ways, it was Saturday and there are some people that went that are friends of mine.  Some not so close and some are.  The not so close ones don't know the gory details of the "break-up".  I just said that there was something that happened and "we" are no longer friends and probably won't ever be again. The close ones do know.  My closer ones side with me and don't understand her actions.  What's bothering me, is that I feel weird knowing they went and they (most of them) know what happened.  Why is this bothering me so much?  I mean....I guess I can answer that for myself.  I feel like sending an email to my friends asking "WHY DID YOU GO?"  Yeah our scrapbooking circle is somewhat small and you tend to run into the same people over and over. She's so fake and superficial!  Yeah it's a good cause, but look what she did!  Am I making any sense or have I just slid off the deep end?  Cuz I feel like I'm getting there. 

 It sounds to me like they didn't want to punish the son for the sins of the mother.

 exactly...it was for a cause, so I would just try to let it go...if it was just a regular get together..I might ask, but not in this case...either way, sorry about your loss of friendship!!!!

 grrr

Dang it! I typed out a big long response and this dang board ate it up!
GRRR


ANyway: Crackalash version: maybe you are feeling like they WERE choosing her side by attending. I can totally relate. Try to make a time when all of you can be together for a girls night out so that it is even playing ground. ANd try not to talk about the other biatch at all, it would be in poor taste and you wouldn't have as much fun. If you can't meet up in person, little "thinking of you" calls would be great.

 I don't think they were doing it to punish you and were probably doing it for a good 'cause. and if they are truly your friends, then there is no need to worry, talk to them and let them know how you feel, maybe they didn't think it would upset you this much~just my thoughts~

 It's hard to not feel 'let down' when you feel that your friends don't 'support' you.

I've been in situations where sides were taken - especially in family.

WHen there was an issue between my late husband and his sisters I would tell my kids that the issue is between their father and his sisters so I didn't want what was between them to affect the relationship between my kids and their aunts.

If I have a problem with someone it's my problem - and I wouldn't want mutual friends to have to take sides.    Yeah, it's hard - but it's not fair to expect my friends to 'side' with me.    They may know most of the story but no one ever knows the whole story completely.

And I do not expect that when my friends have an issue with someone I prefer to not be dragged into it.

 I would say they went because it was a charity crop for her son.

Now my sensible side has come around.  I guess I was all worked up because I saw posts on blogs regarding THE crop.  It truly is for a good cause, but I did feel somewhat let down that friends of mine went.  I don't expect anyone to take sides.  I have just felt like since this whole incident happened all she does is rub it in my face.  I know that's hard to explain, and I shouldn't be reading her blog, but it's like she over compensates on saying certain things. I'm rambling.  Any ways....thank you, thank you for reading and commenting on my vent. 

Now my sensible side has come around.  I guess I was all worked up because I saw posts on blogs regarding THE crop.  It truly is for a good cause, but I did feel somewhat let down that friends of mine went.  I don't expect anyone to take sides.  I have just felt like since this whole incident happened all she does is rub it in my face.  I know that's hard to explain, and I shouldn't be reading her blog, but it's like she over compensates on saying certain things. I'm rambling.  Any ways....thank you, thank you for reading and commenting on my vent.