ACOT Message Board

After your first month of marriage...how did you feel about it?

That was so long ago! Why? What's up?

I know the next day, I remember it being a bit of a downer...the big hoopla prior to the day, and then.....it was over...

Like *nothing* was different. We had been living together for a few years, already bought our house together, and our routine was completely the same. We felt different in spirit because of the permanency of being husband and wife, but it was pretty boring other than that. I actually really loved and enjoyed all of the wedding planning part and life being slow again was tough to adjust to. Who knows though... just the other day someone said "you must be newlyweds" to us so clearly there is SOMEthing about newlyweddedness that appears in couples.

You mean like a feeling of, "Oh crap! What did I do?"
Just kidding...nothing really changed for me. We had lived together before we were married.

I hope everything is ok...

Geez, you want me to remember back that far??? LOL

Really, I think it was still pretty exciting. We didn't live together, and got married in November, so the holidays kept it really exciting. By the time that died down, I was pregnant with dd!

I think in today's society, and the fact that lots of people do live together before they get married, the excitement would probably wear off as soon as the wedding was over, because the planning the wedding was completely different than every day life together.

Forgetting about the excitement of planning the wedding because as most of you know that wasn't a fun time for me. What about just plain old getting along or fighting a lot?

I was married in the mid 1960's to somebody I had known for 4 years. He was in the military and I hated his leaving me each Sunday night to go back to the ship (100 miles away). So after a month of his only having to leave one night a week and one weekend a month, I was still thrilled about it. No big wedding either for us. We started dating after his tour of duty in VietNam, got engaged about 4 months later and married about 3 months after that (we eloped). Loved having our own place and shopping/cooking for us.

We butted heads a lot because we had never lived together and had a lot to get used to. But it was a learning process and all ended well. We've had a couple of life changing experiences (one in which DH was in the hospital after an accident 2 months after we were married) that have taught us to chill in the bickering dept. It was hard at first, but we learn and do better with time.

-Shannon- wrote:Forgetting about the excitement of planning the wedding because as most of you know that wasn't a fun time for me. What about just plain old getting along or fighting a lot?

Hm. I think we were more mellow for that first month or so... there was the post weding fun and the honeymoon and the "hey this is the first time X has happened since we've been married!". But after a few weeks it was back to the usual bickering. Nothing more than before though.

I think it is important to note WHERE stress is coming from when a couple argues. Is it a re-curring issue? Extra work stress making one cranky? More than the usual responsibilites to look after? Not enough sleep? I think maybe it would be easy to put the emphasis on the marraige itself rather than the outside stress that is REALLY the cause.

which marriage

we were only 19 (20 years goes fast) so we had a lot of things going on. We got married, bought a house, opened a business.....We butted heards some but not too bad for the most part. It was hard getting used to living together for us but that was it

Hope you are ok!!!!

I think with all the "newness" and getting used to the new situation, you might be butting heads. For me, I also got married, moved, left family and my cat behind, and quit work...so I was sad, but excited as well.

Hoping that things are ok..

Being brutally honest here - I thought it SUCKED.

Well I got married over 10 years ago would have been 11 on May 17th. Obviously that didnt last I have been divorced 5 years ago noe lol but, things changed it was really weird. We too lived together before we were married and as many have already said the excitment soon died after the actual wedding. We seemed to argue more for some reason and he really changed, it was like he was different once we signed the marriage papers not sure why. I have had a few friends express that thier husbands/exhusbands were the same way. Not sure why some people just change afterwards. Hope all is well Shannon if you need to talk you can pm if you would like.

With my first marriage I felt like I had made a mistake in the months after we married. We lived together before we got married too. I tried and stuck it out for four more years and then left. Wish I had've left sooner.

With my dh we lived together, had two kids and then got married so really nothing felt different after.

I thought it was really hard. We didn't live together before we were married and it was A LOT to get used to. I thought..."Were going to get divorcedm we are never going to make it." I cried alot the first year of marriage honestly. But Truth be told it has only gotten better since then and I am truly a happily married woman. Be patient with yourself and him. It will all be ok! {{{Hugs}}}

We lived together for about a year first so it was not that big of a change. Of course we know how that turned out.

I haven't been married quite one year yet, so I still remember. It really wasn't much different the first couple of months because we had already talked through all the big life stuff beforehand and gotten the "disagreements" out before the wedding. Every once in awhile I get a slight "trapped" feeling, but it isn't bad because dh won't do anything I put a hard foot down on, so that eases my momentary panick and stuck feeling.

I think that in the first month or so we had to do a lot of adjusting since we didn't live together first. That's when I started to realize what I had gotten into. Unfortunately it didn't work out, but I know that for the first couple years we were happy.

Sorry Shannon.........there's going to be up's & downs. But give each other space & hopefully you'll be feeling differently tomorrow.