Information

[writerlady]

Hey ladies. This week has been pretty terrible. My sister dumped my mom in a nursing home.  My mom is 76 - 77 in August. She has early dementia. She doesn't understand where she is, why she's no home and where are her things. She thinks that someone stole her jewelry. I got there yesterday and there were 2 attendants hovering over her and she was furiously telling them that someone stole her gift from her friend.  It took me 2 hours to settle her down and realize the rosary she was looking for was right there on her rolling table. Her room is small and very warm and shared with a nice woman that doesn't speak English. I tried to advocate for mom, but when I called my sister to let her know what happened and that mom needed a few more pieces of clothing, my sister went off on me an told me the lady I spoke ti at the nursing home told my sister that I was a raving B***h and that I convinced my mom she was going home in 6 months and got my mom extremely upset.I told my sister that I wasn't mean and I didn't tell mom that she was going home.My sister said "why would that lady lie to me?"  How do I know?  My sister told me that she has power of attorney and that I have no say about anything. She told the staff not to speak ti me about mom's treatment or anything. I forgot to tell you that my mom paid for an apartment to be built in my sister's basement and now my sister has everything of mom's. I don't want possessions, but I want mom to be comfortable and happy. I haven't stopped crying since Tuesday. Sorry if TMI.  Please, if you can, a prayer or kind thoughts for my mom will be most appreciated.

[suewho372]

Oh how terrible!!! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of this, trying to help your mom and your sister being how she is. Many many hugs And lots of prayers for you and your mom 

[Flasher]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  I can't imagine the worry and heartbreak that you are enduring.  Good thoughts for your mom, and you.

[mommyribs]

I am so very sorry to hear this. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must be for you to see what your mom is struggling with and then to have what seems like a very insensitive sister.  Wish I had some words of wisdom for you. (((hugs)))

[scrappinmom99]

Oh my, what a tough situation! ((((HUGS))))  I am so sorry to hear this - your poor mom sounds so confused. I am praying for a better outcome and for a more peaceful situation! xoxo

[average_kim]

That's so hard to be stuck in the middle with trying to help your mother and your sister's attitude with all this.  Hugs and prayers sent to you and your mom.

[SherrieLynne]

Oh My Gosh! The same exact thing happened to me when my sister took power of attorney over my parents. After my dad passed away things got so bad. My sister wouldn't even let me go see my mom in the nursing home. When my Mom passed away she didn't have a funeral or any type of gathering. It was so heartbreaking. I never got to say good bye to my Mom. I don't understand how a sister can be so cruel. It is such a shame you are going through the same thing. Sending a (((((HUG)))))

[Retiree3]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

[emmapaige]

Oh no....how heartbreaking.  Thoughts and prayers for you and your mom!

[Linda L]

So very sorry to hear what you are going through. I have been through the same thing and I know its not easy. Confusion comes with Dementia, them not understanding is also part of it. Its not easy and I will pray for you and your mom. I pray they have a good doctor that will give her the right medication so that she isn't as confused. Big hugs!!

[karensay]

So sorry to hear this is happening.  I hope things get better soon.

[1scrappymom]

I'm so sorry!  Keeping you in my prayers!

[jcsmaestra]

So sorry to hear about all this.  I will keep you and your precious mom in my prayers.

[Scrap Bug]

I'm so sorry.  I have no idea why family treats other family members the way they do sometimes.  

[LyndaKay]

Having gone through similar issues, I went directly to the director of patient care, bypassing the nursing staff and aides.  I asked the director to request a mild anti-anxiety med from the physician (Lexapro) to help Mom deal with the extreme confusion and fears of people stealing from her.  I also asked that they "push" her to get into all of the activities offered to get her out of her room to socialize.  If they don't have a dementia program of activities, she needs to get involved with whatever they have. 

Take baby steps with the staff....they don't like to be told what to do.   If you think she needs more clothes, ask the staff that gets her dressed if they think your mom needs more nighties or undies, sweaters, etc.  If so, ask them to request that to your sister since she has the clothes.

The only good thing about the situation is that your mother is probably safer under supervision.   My heart goes out to you.  You and your mom have my prayers.

[beachlover]

that is terrible!!  so very sorry for you and your mom (((HUGS))) - it is obvious your sister has done what she has to keep the $ that your mom paid to have living space in her house; that is so shameful!!!

[Monroe1218]

Oh Sandy!  I hate this is all happening to you.  I hope that you can go to the director of the facility and explain to them the entire situation.  I'm saying a prayer that everything will get better soon for you and your mom!

[blbabe1234]

OMG that is horrible!! I am so sorry you and your mother are going thru this. Many hugs and prayers!

[sdwhru]

Oh, wow - I know no words can bring you comfort and peace.  Will praying for comfort and peace for you & your mom.

[scrappin65]

Hugs and prayers. Hope things get better soon!!