Information

[misty5]

 So I want to know how your family celebrates Christmas....no gifts, draw names, only handmade what?

My brother called and said he wanted to draw names...there are 12 of us...i really didn't like the idea cuz my mom wouldn't like to buy just for her ex (my dad) or worst his wife! The deal is this family got a house that they can't afford and now can't seem to have or want gift exchange...my other brother was good with this as he is single and hates to shop..he just gets gift cards to resturants. They managed to talk my dad into have a Christmas meal and nice talk???we always talk nice so this is just weird to me...they don't even decorate...So my mom thought we could do a 5 or 10 dollar limit per person...i am good with that....my problem is i have gifts for almost everyone and now 6 of them don't want to do gifts!!!! we only call each other on birthdays so i can't wait till then... the youngest is my brothers kid and she's 13 mine kids are 19 and 23. I am so glad my kids aren't small, how sad would that be????
Right now i don't even want to go there (it's a 2 hour drive) for a potluck dinner...guess i am the one that needs a kick in the rear!    I understand times are hard but if you don't live within your means whos' fault is that???

thanks for any and all ideas!

[luboost]

 Don't have a whole lot of advice, but I would just give the gifts you bought anyway.  So what if they don't give back!  You're a nice person, they'll have to deal with that!

erica

[nun69]

 I think the adults drawing names is a good idea...we did this last year....but I think all the kids should get something even if it is small....we have a total of 9 adults and 8 grandkids...luckily 6 of the 8 kids are 3 or under! and the oldest is my DD {15} and she understands times are hard and would just rather have everyone pitch in and buy her a giftcard to the mall....and I got the girls Barbie VW Beetles from Wal-Mart at $10 eah and they loved them!...so you can spend a little and make it go a long ways, you just have to be creative and look for the deals....but my thought for drawing names should only be the adults, not the kids! plus, I just made my DD {2 1/2} the cutest little reversable skirt for about $5.00 {my MIL should me how to sew it and it only took about 2 ours, start to finish!} and I am going to buy her a cute little shirt and leggings to go with it..outfit for about $15.00 total...

[Pegster]

 We are not going to do anything here this year. I am going to get th ekids maybe a gift card or something, but things are just too right now. I am looking forward to having a quiet christmas with our normal traditions Christmas Eve and then be totally lazy all day xmas.

[SarahA]

 My mom's family (there are about 15-20 adults that participate) do the Chinese gift exchange. We say to spend about $10. You put numbers in a hat & everyone draws one. The person with #1 gets to pick the first gift & opens it. The person with #2 picks a gift from the table or can take #1's gift, and so on through the numbers. That way everyone doesn't have to buy for 15 other people & you have a fun time stealing gifts from each other and joking around.

[cat1393]

 I don't have a large family. But several years ago, my brother and I decided just to get for the kids. I was and still am fine w/ that. We only see each other for gift required occasions. This is going to sound terrible. but once his divorce goes thru, i hope to see him more!

[davsar]

My family has the children draw names so that a cousin is giving to another cousin.  No price set.  It works, but I always feel bad since I have the smallest family.

[gonecamping]

 Lets get your brother and my sister in law together. They sound like a match made in heaven. Its all about them. I have no problem with exhanging gifts or not. When we all started having kids, we adults decided to draw names amongst adults but buy for the kids. Then one year SIL decided, she didn't want to do that anymore, just buy for the kids, so we all went along with it. then suddenly, kids are in high school, they are too old for everyone to buy for them. So no buying for the kids...all right everyone went along with that. I had Christmas at my house 2 years ago and decided that we should play the white elephant exhange. Everyone said yeah sounded fun except guess who?? Yep SIL. So I set the $ limit at $10 or less. Everyone had a blast except SIL. And her kids bought their own gift for the exchange which was great. Last year, Christmas at her house, guess what..NO EXCHANGE. She made that quite clear. Christmas this year is at my older brothers house and his girlfriend told me we are having the white elephant exchange and if SIL doesn't like it too bad! SIL emailed me saying she didn't want to do gifts because they can't afford it. I understand about the economy but her kids will buy their own gift so she is out $20 or less. They can well afford it, they are going to Hawaii for a vacation. Blah! Now here is the kicker...they do a gift exchange with her family every year. hmmm. whats that say! So I know how you feel about the grinch...LOL!

[motherofjnbc]

 Our kids have always picked names out of a hat on Thanksgiving. Last year I put a limit on how much they could spend on their gifts. They all have different incomes and our youngest just got her first job. Needless to say, whoever recieved from the sibling who made more money lucked out. This year my husband and I are adding our names to the hat.  I will do stockings for the 4 of them. Which can add up in cost too, but that has always been their favorite part of Christmas and the only way I could talk them into the change this year. We are lucky they are no longer little. But then again, the older they are the more expensive the gifts are.

[scraptag]

 On my side of the family, I have 3 brothers and between the four of us, there are 13 kids.  So, we just rotate every year, and buy for a different family.  If one family has 5 and another 4 or 3, it's okay, cause you'll get that family in a year or two.  (my poor mom though, just buys for everyone.  I told her that she needs to just think about the grandkids now, because even they are starting to have kids and she can't afford all of us with the economy the way it is).

On my husbands side of the family, my in laws only have 6 grandkids, so we just buy for the kids.  It's about them anyways!  I just make sure that I buy something special for my husband, because that's the only gift he's gonna get!

Hope that gives you some ideas.!

[MamaK321]

 my family is mom, dad, 3 younger sisters (a significant other) and my own hubby and 2 kids. We don't plan ahead what the gift or price limit will be, we just buy and give. that is what it's all about. I don't see why the same amount of money needs to be spent on each person. Sometimes one person's best gift could be cheap where another's gift would be a pricey necessity. The love is in the gift, not the price tag right?

When we have gotten together with the extended family, ie cousins, uncles, aunts, grandma, then we'll do a gift exchange with suggested price limit so no one feels jilted. This is usually because you may not know your person's wants enough to get them what they really want. Though this is also why lists are very important! lol   One year my dh drew my name, lol. So he switched with my mom so that he couldn't get off that easy. That works well, just state ahead of time that if mom draws the ex, she can switch with someone. Nothing even has to be said about it to the group.

oh and I say you give whatever gifts you want to give out of the goodness of your heart, then participate in the gift exchange also. If you don't want a big deal made about you giving extra gifts, think about having them opened the nite before or later Xmas day when it's not the whole group together, kwim?

[naney1952]

I agree with Kristianne.....it's all about the giving and not the receiving!  

[TinaH]

I personally think that Christmas and the gift giving is over-rated and over-blown. Celebrate within your immediate family (spouse/kids). When you really start talking to people they are glad to know that they don't have to go out and buy a bunch of gifts--and times are tough for some--they don't need the burden of gifting to a bunch of people.

Also, if everyone is going to set a small limit, it sounds okay, but really, I can go out and buy my own inexpensive gift. So in the long run, having extended family together, sharing a great meal, playing some games, and maybe watching a movie sounds terrific to me!

[justred2u]

 My mom's family (there are about 15-20 adults that participate) do the Chinese gift exchange. We say to spend about $10. You put numbers in a hat & everyone draws one. The person with #1 gets to pick the first gift & opens it. The person with #2 picks a gift from the table or can take #1's gift, and so on through the numbers. That way everyone doesn't have to buy for 15 other people & you have a fun time stealing gifts from each other and joking around.

We also call this a white elephant exchange.  I come from a family of 7 girls, our ages are spread throughout 18 years and my youngest sister is only 2 years older than my nephew.  With that all said, we would do the white elephant exchange.  Got to be a blast. We would set a limit.  The day is coming though when the gift exchange thing with "everyone" is going to stop.  I personally would still give the gifts you bought/made.  You bought/made those out of love for your family.  The thing I was taught about a gift is you "give" a present with love and "expect" nothing in return.  Then you have a whole another year to figure out what to do about next year.  It is very hard when the "norm" changes.

[koala1966]

We drew names one year - at my sister's suggestion - and I told her I'd never do that again.  It's just not fun for me.  I love buying for everyone, although I've learned to scale it back in recent years.  If someone doesn't want to give me a gift, that's their decision, I refuse to let that spoil my holiday fun.