Information

[Midge]

I hope you find the answer you are looking for. Go with your heart. {hugs}

[Janshotgun]

Wow!!! WhaT TO SAY!!!!   I was with my mom when she died, she spent the last month at my brother's (his wife is a nurse), she was under hospice care, and when the end was near, my dad and my brothers and sister were all there the last day, spent the night and took shifts sitting by her.  When the end was obvious, in the middle of the night, we woke up everyone so we could stand by her holding her hand and talking to her and saying prayers.  Was it easy?  Hell No!!! I tend to be a very anxiuous person, and watching her breathe erratically made me feel like I was breathing erratically and I thoughtr my heart would stop too!  It was not a memory that you can erase from your mind...... but I am glad that we did it ....afterwards, as the sun came up and the hearse came to take her away, there was the most beautiful rainbow in the sky (and it had not rained!).  We took that as a sign that everything would be ok with her.......You don't have to be there at the very end, but please go and visit her and say your goodbyes...you will feel so much better!!!

[Laura Fiore]

There's nothing I can add that hasn't already been said, so I won't try to give you advice, other than to do what is most comfortable for you during this time. I do want to say, how sorry I am for you, though and give you a big {{{HUG}}}

[Cambra]

I can't thank you all enough for all the thoughts - and HUGS.  Some of you may have misunderstood me, or I probably didn't make it clear.  I have been sitting there with my mom up until now, but just didn't feel I could continue the vigil. The Hospice House is quite close to me so today I've just gone down 2-3 times for a few minutes.I was always there for mom in life and did everything I could - and more than I thought I could - while I was caring for her at home, so I don't have any regrets in that regard.  I explained how I was feeling to my brother and sister and they are fine with that.Thanks again everyone!  I have a feeling she is going to be spending Jesus' birthday with Him!  How wonderful.

[deerewife]

I talked to my mom a few days before she died.  She wasn't in hospice care until the day she died.  I got that call around noon and decided to continue with my plans to go out with friends.  I'm glad I did as I had loved ones with me when I got the news.  I don't feel guilty about not being there - I had been with her lots and at that point she no longer 'knew' us.  My grandmother (her mother) was with her - she has just arrived that day. HUGS - it's hard no matter what you do.Jenna

[Kara]

I was with my dad when he passed but I will say that you do not have anythign to feel guilty about, you are obviously a great daugher!!

[CarolLynn]

Sending hugs to you.  I'd rather regret something I did, rather than something I didn't do, because you can't fix that.  I hope you find peace with your decision, either way.

[CatwoMN]

{{{Hugs during this time}}}

[pjw]

have no regrets ~~~ Hugs!

[tbroussard]

My mom was in the hospital a week before she died.  The last 3 days she was sedated in ICU and on a heart and lung machine.  My father, brothers and sisters would all go in at visiting times and come out crying and tell me not to go in.  I was 7 months pregnant and they were worried about the stress hurting the baby.  I never went in to just be with her and talk to her and tell her I loved her and all that.  I really regret not going in.  She had gained almost 100 lbs of fluid in those days and they told me she didn't even look like herself.  I listened to everyone and regret it.  I wished I was able to just talk to her before she died.  I think your situation is slightly different as you have been there and I'm sure shared things with her.  Do what's in your heart.  If you're thinking you'll feel guity, you probably will.  My family spent every day that last week visiting and bonding and sharing.  So, it may be more for your siblings, than for your mom.  I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you.

[suslvgeo]

(((HUGS)))

[CraftnStuff]

I would suggest going there!  I went through that 10 years ago. My mom was able to speak barely, and she asked for my brother (who was in Florida).  He wasn't able to come up quick enough.  He's still having a hard time grieving, even after all these years.  I've been better b/c I took care of her most of the time before she went into the hospice.  It was really hard to see her like that.  I thought I would never recover.  I'm glad that I did, and you will too.:::HUGS::