dam the whole world expects to speak english/mine sorry if sum dont get it

See how you English rule warpers do with this fairy tale, originally published in "Anguish Languish" in 1956, 50 years ago now:

GUILTY LOOKS ENTER TREE BEERS

Wants pawn term dare worsted ladle gull hoe hat search putty yowler coils debt pimple colder Guilty Looks. Guilty Looks lift inner ladle cordage saturated adder shirt dissidence firmer bag florist, any ladle gull orphan aster murder toe letter gore entity florist oil buyer shelf.
"Guilty Looks!" crater murder angularly, "Hominy terms arena garner asthma suture stooped quiz-chin? Goiter door florist? Sordidly NUT!"
"Wire nut, murder? wined Guity Looks, hoe dint peony tension tore murder's scaldings.
"Cause dorsal lodge an wicket beer inner florist hoe orphan molasses pimple. ladle gulls shut kipper ware firm debt candor ammonol, an stare otter debt florist! Debt florist's mush toe dentures furry ladle gull!"
Wail, pimple oil-wares wander doe wart udder pimple dump wampum toe doe. Debt's jest hormone nurture. Wan moaning, Guilty Looks dissipater murder, an win entity florist.
Fur lung, disk avengeress gull wetter putty yowler coils cam tore mortised ladle cordage inhibited buyer hull firmly off beers - Fodder Beer (home pimple, fur oblivious raisins, coiled "Brewing"), Murder Beer, and Ladle Bore Beer. Disk moaning, oiler beers hat jest lifter cordage, ticking ladle baskings, an hat gun entity florist toe peck block-barriers and rash-barriers. Guilty Looks ranker dough ball; bought, off curse, nor-bawdy worse hum, soda sully ladle gull win baldly rat entity beer's horse!
Honor tipple inner darning rum, stud tree boils fuller sop - wan grade bag boiler sop, wan muddle-sash boil, and wan tawny ladle boil. Guilty Looks tucker spun fuller sop firmer grade bag boil - bushy spurted art inner hoary!
"Arch!" crater gull, "Debt sop's toe hart - barns mar mouse!"
Dingy traitor sop inner muddle-sash boil, witch worse toe coiled. Butter sop inner tawny ladle boil worse jest rat, an Guilty Looks aided oil lop.
Dingy nudist tree cheers - wan anomalous cheer, wan muddle-sash cheer, an wan tawny ladle cheer. Guilty Looks set darn inner ladle cheer, bushy worse toe bag ferret, ant soddenly bustard.
Claming upper stars tutor beer's bet-rum, Guilty Looks dish-cupboard tree bets - wan grade bag bet, wan muddle-sash bet, an wan tawny ladle bet. Failing torrid, shay flunker shelf honor ladle bet, an jester cobbler menace letter, worse sunder slip an snorting.
Inner ladle wile, donors offer cordage cam beck firmer barrier-pecking extradition, currying baskings fuller rash-barriers.
Whinny entity darning rum, Fodder Beer stuttered snuffing an grueling tomb shelf.
"Warts ban goring earn hair?" crumpled dole beer, "Conjure small psalm-sing deferent a boarder horse?"
"Crashes!" crater murder beer, ashy castor quack glands adder tipple, "Hose ban muddling wet debt sop?"
Ladle Bore Beer stuttered crayon.
"Jest locket mar ladle boiler sop - oil garbled dope! An locket mar itchy pitchy cheer - oil bustard!"
Locking adder bustard cheer, Murder Beer bay-gander gat historical, an stuttered hurling tore horse-barn:
"Brewing! Brewing! Way gut BURGHERS inner horse. HORSE BURGHERS! Quack! Coiler place! Wail, dun stun dare lacking end-bustle during nosing! Coiler Place Deportment, quack!"
"Hammer garner coiler Place Deportment wen way dun heifer toiler-fun?" resplendent Brewing, inner trampling verse. "Set darn, worming, an cape quote! Yore oil-wares thanking dare burghers inner horse!"
Oiler shame, Brewing worse jesters scarred aster udders; infect, haze niece war shagging.
Finely, Fodder Beer gutter grade bag short-gum, Murder Beer gutter muddle-sash haunting raffle, an Ladle Bore Beer gutter tawny ladle pestle, an oiler beers crypt upper stars, ware Guilty Looks worse line honor bet, sunder slip an snorting. Herring door beers, shay weakened, lipped otter door window, and dished aware harm jesters fascist shagged scrabble.
Oiler beers tar darner stars, an stuttered toe locker doers an windows.
"Fodder," aster ladle bore beer, finely, "Wart worse debt discussing crasher honor bet? Wart worse debt ogling ammonol wet oil debt yowler far honor had, an hoe dint half nor far atoll honor beck? Wart worse debt hobble lurking crasher, Fodder?"
Fodder Beer shuttered.
"Comb hair, mar bore. Heresy gut lessen furrier! Debt discussing crasher worsen HORMONE BANG! Kipper ware firm debt candor ammonol! Dare nor gut! Warts mar, are dun wander catcher goring entity florist oil bar yore shelf. Debt florist's mush toe dentures furry ladle beer!

(The complete book is here, as the original copyright has expired)

http://www.justanyone.com/allanguish.html

OK, here is the babelfish tranlstion:

You aub what ordinary turbo can language break out.....dat gewauwel of bijv. GEORGE DOMINIC are, however, the worst form of written exchange of ideas at this place of grensoverschreidende meeting. now use babelfish for translation and to see what ends up there.

Obviously, some is not machine translatable. Not quite sure what is the meaning.

Cheers

Sgt.Joe

It's not true.

However, some English words were spelled based on false etymologies - but this was long before colonisation.

In the days of Shakespeare and Milton, spelling was largely a matter of personal preference.

And why should we be jealous of the French language? We stole half of it! And that, perhaps, is the reason for various French spellings scattered around the English language.

What a word to pick! As it happens, it isn't an Americanism. Both forms are allowed in British English (some British sources even prefer the "ize" ending).