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World Community Grid Forums
Category: Community
Forum: Chat Room
Thread: Let 's laugh a bit |
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Thread Status: Active Total posts in this thread: 10
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
In Hevean
- The Policemen are English - The cooks are French - The Bankers are Belgian - The dancers are Spanish - The Lovers are Italian And it's all organized by the Germans In Hell - The Policemen are French - The cooks are English - The Bankers are Spanish - The dancers are Belgian - The Lovers are German And it's all organized by the Italians Best regards |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Offer employment: administrators networks having 50 machines.
Rénumération with Belgian beers all 100.000 points. |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". The
hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go Join The circus?" The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber". Boom, boom |
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olympic
Senior Cruncher Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Post Count: 156 Status: Offline |
A horse walks into a bar, the bartender looks up and says, "Hey, why the long face?"
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retsof
Former Community Advisor USA Joined: Jul 31, 2005 Post Count: 6824 Status: Offline Project Badges: 
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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
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SUPPORT ADVISOR
Work+GPU i7 8700 12threads School i7 4770 8threads Default+GPU Ryzen 7 3700X 16threads Ryzen 7 3800X 16 threads Ryzen 9 3900X 24threads Home i7 3540M 4threads50% |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender asks the seal, "What's your pleasure?" The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club” |
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olympic
Senior Cruncher Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Post Count: 156 Status: Offline |
What happens if you play country music backwards? You get your house, job and wife back and your dog comes back to life!
----------------------------------------====================== What does a tornado and a divorce have in common? In the end, someone is going to lose a house. ====================== Why beer is better than a wife: -You don't have to wine and dine beer. -Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball/soccer/basketball/etc. -A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. -Hangovers go away. -Beer never has a headache. -A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer on your breath. -You can share beer with your friends. -A frigid beer is a good beer. -If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony. -Beer never bugs you to have little beers. -If your preference for a type of beer changes, you don't have to get involved with lawyers. -A beer doesn't make you sleep onthe couch after you've taken six other beers on a picnic. -Finishing a beer in 3 seconds is something to be proud of. |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
A skeleton walks into a bar and says “Give me a beer and a mop.”
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
- Cliff Clavin (Cheers) |
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Diana G.
Master Cruncher Joined: Apr 6, 2005 Post Count: 3003 Status: Offline Project Badges: 
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The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
----------------------------------------Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3:00 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him (cuz 3 + 9 = 12!) . So smart! The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him midnight. He didn't seem too upset at all. I was thinking....Whew! Got away with that. Then he said, "I think we need a new cuckoo clock". When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then it said "Oh crap", and cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted." .  |
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