An open letter to Sarah Palin

October 3 at 1:36pm

Dear Mrs. Palin,

I am embarrassed for my gender. Seriously. Putting all politics aside, after last night's debate, I am mortified on behalf of women everywhere. You seem to have confused running for Vice President of the United States with running for Prom Queen at Icanskinamoose High School.

I mean, really. What was with the winking? Did you have something in your eye? Does the prospect of intelligent discussion of important issues cause uncontrollable spasms in your face? Is your foreign policy strategy to wink hostile nations into submission? Or do you actually believe that this stopped people from noticing that you didn't have the answers to the questions? Well, golly gee, but winking doesn't stop us from noticing that you are completely unqualified to be Vice President of the PTA, much less of the United States.

And on that note, gosh and golly gee? That's not folksy language that appeals to the average American. That's talking to us like we are preschoolers. Stop. Now.

Five year olds can't vote. Let's all try talking like grown ups, shall we? Furthermore, the ability to rhyme your opponent's first name with other one-syllable words is not impressive and it does not make any valid political point. Congratulations. Last night you demonstrated that you have as good a grasp of the sounds the letters of the alphabet make as your 7-year-old daughter, who at least had the sense not to spit shine her baby brother this time. Is this why people keep saying you did better than expected? Because really, I'd rather elect Dr. Seuss if rhyme is that important.

And by the way, you are not middle class. The amount of money paid to any governor of any state in this country automatically removes them from the label of middle class. Stop trying to be one of us. It's insulting. As is your continual reference to "Joe Six Pack". Just because your husband is known as the First Dude of Alaska (which kind of makes me throw up in my own mouth) doesn't mean you know anything about average Americans... like perhaps the fact that many members of the working and middle classes find that sort of pejorative characterization insulting. I represent many low and middle class Americans. I would never dream of referring to my clients this way. It's distasteful and disrespectful.

And now on to the issues. Wait, I can't really address your thoughts on this issues, since you did everything in your power not to have, I mean, share them. I don't know where you stand on pretty much anything of importance to me. And the few tidbits I gleaned did nothing to convince me that you are anything other than a fan of big oil and hockey. All that I know is that you have the ability, arguably, to memorize and regurgitate four or five basic talking points, ad nauseam while completely ignoring the question being asked of you. But hey, it worked for Bush, so why not?

In closing, I would like to say that some day, we will have a woman elected President of the United States. That woman will get to thank Geraldine Ferraro, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Kay Bailey Hutchinson, Olympia Snowe, and host of other intelligent, competent women in politics - on both sides of the isle - who blazed trails and stood up for what they believed in. That woman will get to thank a generation of women like my mother who raised their daughters to believe that they can be anything and do anything. The thought of that woman having to thank you as well makes me physically ill. You make women in politics look like a joke. And I am mortified.

Most sincerely yours,

Anonymous Woman Voter