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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, margarita in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WAH HOO what a ride!"
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Anecdote
----------------------------------------From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia For a comparison of anecdote with other kinds of stories, see Myth, legend, fairy tale, and fable. An anecdote is a short tale narrating an interesting or amusing biographical incident. It may be as brief as the setting and provocation of a bon mot. An anecdote is usually based on real life, an incident involving actual persons, whether famous or not, in real places. However, over time, modification in reuse may convert a particular anecdote to a fictional piece, one that is retold but is "too good to be true". Sometimes humorous, anecdotes are not jokes, because their primary purpose is not simply to evoke laughter, but to reveal a truth more general than the brief tale itself, or to delineate a character trait or the workings of an institution in such a light that it strikes in a flash of insight to their very essence. A brief monologue beginning "A man pops in a bar..." will be a joke. A brief monologue beginning "Once J. Edgar Hoover popped in a bar..." will be an anecdote. An anecdote thus is closer to the tradition of the parable than the patently invented fable with its animal characters and generic human figures— but it is distinct from the parable in the historical specificity which it claims. An anecdote is not a metaphor nor does it bear a moral, a necessity in both parable and fable, merely an illustrative incident that is in some way an epitome. Absent-minded Creator After a devastating electrical storm one day, Thomas Edison was visited by a group of vestrymen seeking advice regarding the erection of lightning rods on a certain building in Orange, New Jersey. Edison asked the men what kind of building it was. "A church," they replied. "By all means put lightning rods on," Edison advised. "You know Providence is absent-minded at times!" [Edit 1 times, last edit by Former Member at Dec 6, 2007 9:40:22 PM] |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
While attending an embassy reception one evening, the syndicated columnist Ann Landers was approached by an overbearing senator. "So you're Ann Landers," he said. "Say something funny." "You're a politician," Landers replied. "Tell me a lie!
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Dizzy Comment
Dizzy Dean was as famed for his verbal bloopers as a baseball announcer as he had been for his performance as a player. "The game," he declared after one outing, "was closer than the score indicated." The score in question? 1-0. |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
It was probably during his first campaign against Eisenhower that Adlai E. Stevenson was approached by an enthusiastic woman supporter who said to him, "Governor, every thinking person will be voting for you." Stevenson replied, "Madam, that is not enough. I need a majority."
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Cruel Intentions?
Among Reese Witherspoon's most challenging performances was the pivotal breakup scene in Cruel Intentions with her fellow actor - and future husband - Ryan Phillippe. "We'd gotten so tired and we'd done the scene so many times," she recalled. "He was off-camera giving me my lines and he started to ad lib - which is a bad thing when you're doing this kind of scene, and talking like, 'I never loved you! You're not attractive!' Terrible things. I got upset." How so? "I just hauled off and socked him in the face. And everybody in the crew was like, 'Gasp! Can you believe she did that?' And I'm screaming my lines and I just yelled, 'Get out!' Phillippe's response? "He ran off and threw up in a stairwell. And I'm, like, sobbing, saying, 'I can't believe he said those things to me!' And the director [Roger Kumble] came in..." The director's response? "He said, 'I can't believe it,'" Witherspoon recalled. "'That was so great! Can you do it again!?'" |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
I'm celebrating my 75th birthday," Victor Borge announced one day in 1994, "which is sort of embarrassing, because I'm 85.
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Samuel Pepys
----------------------------------------Samuel Pepys's wife entered their home one day and caught her husband embracing the cook. "Samuel!" she exclaimed. "You surprise me!" Pepys replied, "No, my dear, it is you who have surprised me, I merely astonished you." [Edit 1 times, last edit by Former Member at Dec 12, 2007 8:37:34 PM] |
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Harry Truman finally persuaded Adlai E. Stevenson to campaign for the Democratic nomination in 1952. Stevenson stayed overnight at the White House and was put in the Lincoln Room. He wandered around the room, gazing with awe at the things in it, unable to bring himself to lie in the bed. So he spent the night on the sofa. He was unaware that in Lincoln's time the bed was not there, but the sofa was.
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Former Member
Cruncher Joined: May 22, 2018 Post Count: 0 Status: Offline |
Bionic Woman
During an appearance on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" in April 2003, Jamie King confirmed that her mother had indeed named her after the bionic woman. King's mother, the actress explained, was a huge fan of Jaime Sommers (Lindsay Wagner). "It's a good thing," Conan replied, "your mother wasn't a Kojack fan!" |
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